Project Aon

21: Voyage of the Moonstone

Pending (Not Errata)

Fixed (Errata)
(er)Map:Kaltersee -> Kaltesee
(er)Many:on to -> onto (FIXED: 126, 233 [leap onto]; 276 [yourself onto]; 2 [climb onto]; 9, 109, 217 [back onto]; 259 [onto your feet]; 281 [you onto]; 208, 346 [turn south onto])
(er)Title:southern Magnamund -> Southern Magnamund
(er)Title:warrior, among -> warrior among
(er)Title:life and death struggle -> life-and-death struggle
(er)Title:en route [x-lang="fr"]
(er)The Story So Far:MS5075 -> MS5070
(er)The Story So Far:elite -> élite
(er)The Story So Far:Kai monastery -> Kai Monastery
(er)The Story So Far:freestate -> Freeland
(er)The Story So Far:monastery of the Kai -> Monastery of the Kai
(er)The Story So Far:re-established -> reestablished
(er)The Story So Far:imposter -> impostor
(er)The Story So Far [x3]:artifact -> artefact
(er)The Story So Far:gods of Good -> Gods of Good
(er)The Story So Far:southern-most -> southernmost
(er)The Story So Far:Cloud Dancer -> Cloud-dancer [also: itals, ne]
(er)The Story So Far:Darklord armies -> Darkland armies [jb: Fix it]
[so: Fixed in Books 21-27]
(er)The Game Rules:that you will find at the front of this book. For ease of use and further adventuring, it is recommended that you photocopy these pages [remove]
(er)The Game Rules:on the last page of the book [remove]
(er)The Game Rules [x2]:ie -> i.e.
(er)The Game Rules:can not -> cannot
(er)The Game Rules:ENDURANCE points fall to zero -> ENDURANCE points fall to zero or below
(er)Kai Name:elite -> élite
(er)Kai Name:You can record your personal Kai name on the bookplate which appear on the inside cover of this book. [remove]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:sixth sense -> Sixth Sense
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Animal control -> Animal Control
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:venoms and -> venoms, and
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:symbols and -> symbols, and
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:their COMBAT SKILL is reduced -> their ENDURANCE is reduced
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:1 to 3 -> one to three [consistency with later books]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:EQUIPMENT -> Equipment [and link - (ne)]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Mindblast [bold] -> Mindblast [not bold]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Kai-surge, Psi-surge, and Mindblast -> Kai-surge and Mindblast
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Old Kingdom battle magic -> Old Kingdom battle-magic
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:magi-magic spells -> Old Kingdom Spells
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:individual (or combinations of) elements that are available, -> individual elements that are available, or combinations thereof,
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:guild of magicians -> Guild of Magicians
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:remove or accelerate -> remove, or accelerate
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:eg -> e.g.
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:dialect and -> dialect, and
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Kai Weapon and any -> Kai Weapon, and any
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:further Discipline -> further Grand Master Discipline [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:extra Discipline -> extra Grand Master Discipline [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:four Disciplines -> four Grand Master Disciplines [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:four of the New Order Disciplines -> four of the New Order Grand Master Disciplines [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:all of the New Order Disciplines -> all of the New Order Grand Master Disciplines [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:four of the New Order Disciplines -> four of the New Order Grand Master Disciplines [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:New Order Disciplines section -> Grand Master Disciplines section [consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:strength and capacity of these fortresses increases -> strength and capacity of these fortresses increase [LM] [jb: Agreed]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Duration of the spirit-walk, and the protection afforded to his in animate body, increases -> Duration of the spirit-walk and the protection afforded to his inanimate body increase [LM] [jb: Agreed]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:number and accuracy of these predictions increases -> number and accuracy of these predictions increase [LM] [jb: Agreed]
(er)Grand Master Senior -> Kai Grand Master Senior [Consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:will be of use -> may be of use [so: Fixed in LW 1- 28, GS 1-3]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:Add: "If you have the Discipline of Grand Weaponmastery with Bow, you may add 3 points to any number you pick from the Random Number Table, when using the Bow." from Equipment Section
[so: Fixed in Books 21-28]
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:"you are skilled in the use of one of the weapons listed in the Equipment section." [Are you _really_ limited to Quarterstaff, Bow, Dagger, Sword, or Axe?]
[jb: "Given the rules for the previous Lone Wolf books, it seems odd that a Grand Master is only allowed to choose to be proficient in one of the few Weapons listed in the Equipment section. In view of the unprecedented nature of this rule, you might decide that it is acceptable to be proficient in any of the ten Weapons that the Kai typically train to use." And then add the weapons.png file from the GM series below this.]
(er)Equipment:(see the inside back cover of this book) [remove]
(er)Equipment:Special item -> Special Item
(er)Equipment [x8]:arrow(s) -> Arrow(s)
(er)Equipment [x8]:bow -> Bow
(er)Equipment:quiver -> Quiver
(er)Equipment:eg -> e.g.
(er)Equipment:you take with you -> you acquire
(er)Equipment:a sword or an axe -> a Sword or an Axe [LM / jb]
(er)Equipment:Random Number Table, your Kai Weapon -> Random Number Table; your Kai Weapon [LM] [jb: OK as-is]
(er)Equipment:Remove: "If you have the Discipline of Grand Weaponmastery with Bow, you may add 3 points to any number you pick from the Random Number Table, when using the Bow." from Equipment Section
[so: Fixed in Books 21-28]
(er)Equipment:"record them on your Weapons List." [And on the Special Items list?][jb/bk]
[so: Should we change "Weapons List" to "Action Chart" in Books 13-28?]
[jb: Yes!]
(er)Kai Weapon:new-found -> newfound
(er)Kai Weapon:the Monastery -> the Kai Monastery
(er)Kai Weapon:elite -> élite
(er)Kai Weapon:at the front of the book [remove]
(er)Kai Weapon:cave or tunnel -> cave, or tunnel
(er)Kai Weapon [x6]:vs -> versus
(er)Rules for Combat:This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero, at which point the one with the zero score is declared dead. If Lone Wolf is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points reduced. -> This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero or below, at which point that combatant is declared dead. If Lone Wolf is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points possibly reduced.
(er)Rules For Combat:on the inside front cover of this book [remove]
(er)Rules For Combat:A summary of Combat Rules appears on the page after the Random Number Table. [remove]
(er)Rules For Combat:Only you may [you: bold; under Evasion of combat]
(er)Rules For Combat:combat!) -> combat!). [SD]
(er)Levels of Kai Grand Mastership:Senior You -> Senior--You [SD]
(er)Levels of Kai Grand Mastership:rank and titles -> ranks and titles [LM] [jb: Agreed]
[so: Fixed in Books 1-28]
(er)Levels of Kai Grand Mastership [x5]:Grand master -> Kai Grand Master [Consistency: Books 22+]
(er)Kai Wisdom:Successful completion of previous Lone Wolf adventures (Books 1-20) may be advantageous, but it is not essential for the completion of this New Order adventure. [SD: Not advantageous in the sense of having additional disciplines, items, etc. Remove.] [LM]
[jb: Perhaps: "Successful completion of previous Lone Wolf adventures (Books 1-20) is not essential for the completion of this New Order adventure."]
(er)1:power.' He [New paragraph between these words.]
(er)1:Lord-Lieutenant -> Lord-lieutenant
(er)1:Cloud Dancer -> Cloud-dancer [itals: ne]
(er)1:far to the west of Magnamund -> far in the west of Magnamund [LM] [so: Or, far to the west of Sommerlund?]
[so: Settled on: far to the west -> in the fasr west]
(er)2, 4, 106 [x2], 232, 334:tavernkeeper -> tavern-keeper
(er)2:Funtal's Castle -> Funtal's castle [SD]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)3, 30, 47, 85, 107, 141 [x2], 158, 215, 257, 271, 288:Brotherhood spell -> Brotherhood Spell
(er)3, 141:Lightning Hand [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)4, 334:hay loft -> hay-loft
(er)5, 10, 59, 81, 101, 136, 154, 222, 244, 266, 279, 345, 348:bow -> Bow
(er)6:children come -> children comes
[jb: Agreed]
(er)7, 324:[BOLD potion names -> non-bold]
(er)7, 324:use only once -> one use only
(er)8:If you have some money and you wish to pay her 1 Gold Crown, turn to 346. // If you have no money, turn to 208. -> If you have some money and you wish to pay her 1 Gold Crown, turn to 346. // If you have no money or do not wish to pay, turn to 208. [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)11:drawing your Magnakai skill -> drawing upon your Magnakai skill [lm: or is this idiom?]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)11:divination -> Divination
(er)14, 41, 111, 177, 233, 256:belltower -> bell-tower [SD: Manual of Style]
(er)14:above, then a -> above, and then a [SD]
(er)14, 128:emporiums -> emporia
(er)16, 72, 157, 218, 229, 286, 339:Kai mastery -> Kai Mastery
(er)16, 226, 294:clifftop -> cliff-top [SD: Manual of Style]
(er)17:tavern keeper's -> tavern-keeper's
(er)20:heard, 'the -> heard. 'The
(er)20, 285:‘Quick men!’ yells the lieutenant, ‘follow me. -> ‘Quick, men!’ yells the lieutenant. ‘Follow me! [SD: A full stop after “follow me” does not lend a sense of urgency to his order]
(er)21:turbanned -> turbaned [SD]
(er)21, 331:ice-cool -> ice cool
(er)21, 331:counter-attack -> counterattack
(er)21:your battle-cry: "For Sommerlund and the Kai!" as -> your battle-cry—"For Sommerlund and the Kai!"—as [tp]
[jb: Agreed. The use of a colon here is non-standard.]
(er)24:asks, ' 'cause -> asks. '<ch.thinspace/>'Cause
(er)27:Suddenly your daydreaming -> Suddenly, your daydreaming [SD]
(er)27:Kai Alchemy -> Kai-alchemy
(er)28:weather-beaten -> weatherbeaten
(er)30:Silence [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)30:dumb-struck -> dumbstruck
(er)30:The Gods have struck this thief
(er)31:four rounds, or less, -> four rounds or less, [SD]
(er)31:five rounds (or more), -> five rounds or more, [SD]
(er)31, 146, 336, 344:market-place -> marketplace
(er)33 [x2], 151, 164:weapons -> Weapons [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)35:meat and biscuit -> meat and biscuits
(er)36:Power Word [remove - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)36:sommersault -> somersault
(er)36, 105:master Kai -> Master Kai
[jb: Agreed]
(er)37:20 crowns -> 20 Crowns
(er)38:quartz and -> quartz, and
(er)40:‘A old one-legged farmer -> 'An old one-legged farmer [SD]
(er)40, 102 [x2], 149 [x2], 180 [x2], 228, 234 [x2], 241:camp fire -> campfire
(er)41:a large crowd come and gather -> a large crowd comes and gathers [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)42, 306:south-by-south west -> south by southwest
(er)42, 306:please First Mate -> please, First Mate
(er)47, 257:Invisible Shield [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)47:you see your own Arrow strike -> (in order to arrive at this section, you must opt to not use a bow) [LM]
[jb: As the remnants of his missile fall to the ground you see your own Arrow strike your enemy in the chest and knock him down. -> The remnants of his missile fall to the ground.]
(er)49, 59, 71, 81, 101, 136, 170, 222, 244, 266, 279, 296, 322, 326, 345, 348:arrow(s) -> Arrow(s)
(er)53, 168, 220:itikars -> Itikars [SD][IK]
(er)55:creature who is hiding -> creature that is hiding [SD]
(er)55, 116, 146, 212, 294, 297, 336, 344:sixth sense -> Sixth Sense
(er)56, 83, 117, 190, 213, 221, 233, 236, 243, 272:backpack -> Backpack
[jb: Agreed]
(er)56:well-founded -> well founded
[jb: Agreed]
(er)58:gold crowns -> Gold Crowns
(er)59:noseguard [SD]
[SO: nose-guard; cf. 19 Section 276: chin-guard]
(er)61:Sommerlund, yes?’ [New paragraph] You nod [SD]
(er)61:master journeyman -> Master Journeyman
[jb: Agreed]
(er)62:toa-wood -> toa wood
(er)63:Without their leader they panic -> Without their leader, they panic [SD]
(er)63, 340:isles of Cape Kabar -> isles off Cape Kabar (cf. ref. 93) [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)64:table. 'He [New paragraph between these sentences]
(er)66, 111, 233, 256, 264, 310:Artifact(s) -> Artefact(s)
(er)67, 176, 205, 235, 263, 278, 311:first mate -> First Mate
(er)68:Great Masourn range -> Great Masourn Range
(er)68 (Illustration IV Caption):the eagles -> the Itikars
(er)69, 92, 194, 208, 346:gold crown -> Gold Crown
(er)72, 297:black furred -> black-furred
(er)72, 75:Bow and -> Bow, and
(er)73, 275:at the front of this book [remove]
(er)73:which road to wish to travel -> which road you wish to travel [LM]
(er)73, 275:reads: KHOR-100 MILES / BISUTAN-225 MILES. To the south it reads: KONESHI PASS TO BISUTAN-125 MILES. -> reads: 'KHOR-100 MILES / BISUTAN-225 MILES'. To the south it reads: 'KONESHI PASS TO BISUTAN-125 MILES'. [LM]
[jb: reads, 'Khor-100 miles / Bisutan-225 miles'. To the south it reads, 'Koneshi Pass to Bisutan-125 miles'.]
(er)73, 275:the great range -> the Great Masourn Range
[IK: This isn't referring to the Masourn Range.]
[so: I see what you mean. Maybe: 'the great range' -> 'that great range']
[jb: agreed]
(er)74:‘That's him,’ shouts -> ‘That's him!’ shouts [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)74:creature who -> creature that SD: GM does not recognise the Deathstalkers as possessing gender until he meets the second]
(er)74:march, then he -> march, and then he [SD]
[SO: Or, march; then]
(er)75:tic -> tick [LM]
(er)75:dead and unconscious -> dead or unconscious [AO]
[jb: agreed]
(er)76:razor claws -> razor-sharp claws
(er)77, 180:Bavari hills -> Bavari Hills
(er)77, 89, 163, 179, 186, 341:Great Masourn mountains -> Great Masourn Mountains
(er)77:merchant's goods -> merchants' goods
(er)82:Minutes later the crowd -> Minutes later, the crowd [SD]
(er)82, 268:the crowd erupt -> the crowd erupts [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)82, 140, 179, 328:your weapons -> your Weapons
(er)85:effects of spell -> effects of the spell
(er)85, 107, 141:Levitation [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)88:been cut.’ [New paragraph] As the innkeeper [SD]
(er)88:booms Raker, 'I -> booms Raker. 'I
(er)89:battle sorcery -> battle-sorcery
(er)89:sixth senses detect -> Sixth Sense detects [SD]
(er)92:bedsheet -> bed sheet [SD]
(er)92, 153, 194:Zuath -> zuath [AO]
[jb: agreed]
(er)95, 333:four of them -> three of them [SD]
(er)95, 333:in Kirlu -> on Kirlu
(er)96:southern Magnamund -> Southern Magnamund
(er)97, 335:main mast -> mainmast
(er)98, 104, 137, 213, 262, 349:Huntmastery you -> Huntmastery, you
[jb: Agreed]
(er)100, 250:try and -> try to
(er)101, 136:quiver -> Quiver
(er)102:Magnakai healing -> Magnakai Curing
[jb: Or, Kai healing]
(er)103:every 1 Special Item [SD: remove [1] ]
[SO: every 1 -> each]
(er)104, 126, 212:Sligh and -> Sligh, and
(er)104:battle wounds -> battle-wounds
(er)104:points). -> points.)
(er)106:clomp [onomatopoeia] [SD: Don't think this is supposed to be onomatopoeic. Onomatopoeic words usually preceded by a descriptive word: thunderous, tremendous, discordant, etc.]
(er)109 [x2], 163, 328, 341:Jheni -> Jhani
(er)110, 152:Koneshi mountains -> Koneshi Mountains
(er)111:darkness above, then a -> darkness above, and then a [SD]
(er)111, 256:half their number search the other alley whilst the remainder stay -> half their number searches the other alley whilst the remainder stays [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)113, 325:animal control -> Animal Control
(er)116:Magician's Guild -> Magicians' Guild
(er)116:grey haired -> grey-haired
(er)117:bales and casks -> bales, and casks
(er)117:no longer of use nor value -> no longer of neither use nor value [SD: or: no longer of use or value]
[SO: no longer of any use or value]
(er)117:(If you wish to keep this Siyen Crown, record it on your Action Chart as a Special Item which you carry in your Backpack.) -> (If you wish to keep this Siyen Crown, record it on your Action Chart as a Special Item.) [jc: or make it a Backpack Item (as Special Items cannot be carried in Backpack)]
(er)118, 143, 302:Kai weapon -> Kai Weapon
(er)119:Grand Pathsmanship and Telegnosis -> <em>and</em>
(er)122:fear. 'By [New paragraph at this point]
(er)123, 192:Shield [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)123:you see your own Arrow strike -> (in order to arrive at this section, you must opt to not use a bow) [LM]
[jb: As the splintered wood of the missile falls to the ground, you see your own Arrow strike your would-be killer in the chest and knock him down. -> The splintered wood of the missile falls to the ground.]
(er)126, 212:Come Grand -> Come, Grand
(er)126, 212:yours and Oriah's horses -> both horses [or similar]
[jb: It's certainly awkward, but the suggested change is ambiguous to me. It might make it less awkward to rephrase the sentence slightly: "steeds, with yours".]
(er)127:chicken and -> chicken, and
(er)129, 288:sea storms -> sea-storms
(er)129, 269:rib-cage -> rib cage
(er)129:rolling clouds -> roiling clouds
(er)131, 191:men, ‘there -> men. ‘There [LM]
(er)131, 191:the rogue, ‘so why -> the rogue. ‘So why (i'm under the impression that 'so' is only a conjunction when short for 'so that' and otherwise it's an adverb.) [LM]
(er)131, 149, 191:with this he -> with this, he [SD]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)133:astrology -> Astrology
(er)134, 298:Skull and -> Skull, and
(er)134, 201, 298:details of your -> details on your
(er)135:northlander -> Northlander
(er)136, 170, 244, 322, 345:If you possess Grand Weaponmastery with Bow, add 3 to the number you have picked -> If you possess Grand Weaponmastery with Bow, remember to add 3 to the number you have picked [so: This is not an extra bonus, merely a reminder of the rules, I think.]
[ik: Agreed]
(er)138:you say. He [New paragraph at this point]
(er)138, 166, 216:crowns -> Crowns
(er)138, 216, 262, 271, 349:good-night -> goodnight
[jb: The hyphenated form seems more standard.]
[ik: "goodnight" is the standard in the PA editions]
(er)139, 274, 287, 304:look-out -> lookout
(er)139, 274:host of screaming warriors are -> host of screaming warriors is [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)141, 213, 220:itikar -> Itikar [SD: Capitalized throughout book 5]
(er)142:Scented oil -> Scented Oil
(er)142:Copper cup -> Copper Cup
(er)142:Ball of chalk -> Ball of Chalk
(er)142:horses, then the four -> horses, and then the four [SD]
(er)142 [x2], 152, 219, 282, 323:mhaktis [foreign xml:lang="x-vassagonian"?]
[jb: agreed]
(er)143, 152:accordingly and -> accordingly, and
(er)146 [x2], 214, 236, 289, 336 [x2], 344 [x2]:market-square -> market square
(er)146, 336, 344:script: Bir Rabalou-160 miles.-> script: 'Bir Rabalou-160 miles'. [LM]
[jb: Agreed]
(ne)146, 336, 344:You, too, are -> You too are [SD]
[jb: Agreed]
(er)148:sea-bass -> sea bass
(er)149:. . . and -> . . . And
(er)150:Welcome my -> Welcome, my
(er)150:Sesketera, have -> Sesketera have
(er)150:After having heard her story and satisfied yourself -> After you have heard her story and satisfied yourself [tp: While I get the grammatical intent -- "...having heard ... and [having] satisfied..." -- I find it very awkward. It reads like "satisfied" parallels "having" and so they seem mismatched. And "After having heard" is also troublesome; in fact I think it might even be the source of my unease with this sentence, as "Having heard... and satisfied..." reads much better to me.] [so: Let's go with "After having heard -> Having heard" ]
(er)151:Add dashes to the list of items (cf. Section 62).
(er)151:Short sword -> Short Sword
(er)152:an inn and -> an inn, and
(er)154:arrow -> Arrow [LM]
(er)159:few miles to the north -> few miles to the south (cf. ref. 179) [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)159:Great Masourn mountain range -> Great Masourn Mountain Range [LM]
[so: Or, Great Masourn Range]
(er)160, 252:hoofs -> hooves
(er)161:Rooms-2 Gold Crowns nightly -> 'Rooms-2 Gold Crowns nightly' [LM]
[jb: message: Rooms—2 Gold Crowns nightly, -> message 'Rooms—2 Gold Crowns nightly',]
(er)163, 196, 256:orphaned section [LM]
[LM: Maybe link 115 -> 163 instead of 341.]
[LM: Make the RNT pick in 337 link to 196 and 256 as well (change the 2 options to 4)]
[jb: (er) 337: 4 or lower -> 2 or lower
(er) 337: 5 or higher -> 8 or higher
(er) 337: add "If it is 3-4, turn to 196." and "If it is 5-7, turn to 256."]
(er)165:she falls, then -> she falls, and then [SD]
(er)165:his crew attempt -> his crew attempts [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)165:Fernant and Oriah -> Fernant, and Oriah [bk: otherwise it's a garden-path sentence]
(er)165:he says -> Fernant says [see the context]
[jb: agreed]
(er)172:crowns -> Crowns [jb: agreed]
(er)174:ancient script yet -> ancient script, yet [SD]
(er)175:neck, then -> neck, and then [SD]
(er)175:fighter. 'It [New paragraph at this point]
(er)175:vassa -> Vassa
(er)175:Malduz!' 'We'll [New paragraph at this point]
(er)175:chamber of the font -> Chamber of the Font
[jb: agreed]
(er)176, 311:say, 'it -> say. 'It
(er)179:engine sputters into life -> engine splutters into life [ik/bk]
(er)179:A tangle of metal pipes and brass cylinders hang -> A tangle of metal pipes and brass cylinders hangs [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)179:Grand Huntmastery and Telegnosis [<em>and</em> as per previous books]
[jb: agreed]
(er)180:en route [encode as foreign] [orig. not in itals]
(er)180 (Illustration XI Caption):camp fire -> campfire
(er)180 (Illustration XI Caption):Temejun's -> Temujun's
(er)180:arrives there they hurriedly -> arrives there, they hurriedly [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)181:notice-board -> notice board
(er)181:clay tiled -> clay-tiled
(er)182:every 1 -> each
(er)183:erase 3 Gold Crowns -> deduct 3 Gold Crowns [SD: For consistency with rest of book]
(er)186:north-eastern -> northeastern
(er)189:pursuer's -> pursuers'
(er)195, 289:the slaver; he can -> the slaver: he can [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)201:Crown and -> Crown, and
(er)204:[jb: "Your weapon barely clears its scabbard..." yet in 177 in states "you raise your weapon in readiness to strike out...". Ideas other than truncating the first sentence to read "The creature is upon you."?]
[so: Maybe, "You barely have time to raise your weapon before the creature is upon you."]
[jb: agreed]
(er)207:Dessi capital -> Dessian capital
(er)208:weapon instead -> Weapon instead
(er)208:in lieu of a gold crown -> in lieu of 1 Gold Crown [SD: Game mechanic]
[jb: Or "in lieu of a Gold Crown".]
(er)208, 346:a moment longer, and so you mount -> a moment longer. You mount [SD: Original text just does not flow well at all]
[jb: I vote to change "and, with a flick of your heel, you leave" to "and--with a flick of your heel--leave". Note the dashes and the removal of "you".]
(er)211:Dessi uplands -> Dessian uplands
(er)214:nightimes -> nights
(er)215:Counterspell [remove - - around spell] [spell (ne)]
(er)217:under way -> underway
[jb: Change in harmony with usage elsewhere]
(er)218:the mountainside yet -> the mountainside, yet [SD]
(er)219:crown piece -> Gold Crown [SD]
(er)223:a growl, then he -> a growl, and then he [SD]
[SO: Or, growl; then]
(er)224:pink-leafed -> pink-leaved [ik: as in 65, and yellow-leaved in 06tkot and red-leaved in 11tpot]
(er)225:Kai skills -> Magnakai skills
[jb: agreed]
(er)225:Nexus and curing -> Nexus and Curing
(er)232:You agree his price -> You agree to his price [lm: or is this idiom?]
[jb: agreed]
(er)235:Here await a party -> Here awaits a party [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)235:Fryelund forest -> Fryelund Forest
(er)235:elite -> élite
(er)238:sixth senses scream -> Sixth Sense screams [SD]
(er)242, 249:while away -> wile away [SO]
[SD: Both are correct, but I personally favour the former, and so does this site (seen this site used before in settling PA lexical disputes)]
[SO: wile away in harmony with Book 18]
(er)242, 249:Flomi -> flomi
(er)243:Erase Cowana -> Erase the Cowana
(er)250:merchant's stalls -> merchants' stalls [LM]
(er)250:naivety -> naïveté
[ik: Agreed]
(er)251:gaily dressed -> gaily-dressed
(er)251:inlayed -> inlaid [SD]
(er)252:Barczak stables -> Barczak Stables
(er)252:clang [onomatopoeia]
(er)255:old days.’ [New paragraph] Kol then [SD: Action in response to speech]
(er)258:out!', and cocks -> out!' He cocks
(er)263:ship. [New paragraph] Pick a number from the Random Number Table. [SD]
(er)266 [x2], 340, 279 [x2]:weapon -> Weapon [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)267:animal mastery -> Animal Mastery
(er)268:The crowd roar -> The crowd roars [LM]

[jb: agreed]||

(er)271:t'is -> 'tis
(er)271:'You’re Sommlending aren’t you?' -> 'You’re Sommlending, aren’t you?' [SD]
(er)271:machines.’ [New paragraph] He looks [SD]
(er)272:gold coins, ‘I’ll -> gold coins. ‘I’ll [SD: "Very well" is too emphatic a statement to trail off into another sentence]
(er)273:symbols yet -> symbols, yet [SD]
(er)273:remain legible for thousands -> remain legible, for thousands [LM] [so: I prefer: symbols yet -> symbols, yet]
[jb: Both commas should be present. That "for" is regrettable because of how it reads with "thousands of years". It could be replaced by a colon.]
(er)277:every 1 Backpack Item [SD: remove [1] - superfluous]
[SO: every 1 -> each]
(er)282:queuing -> queueing [IK]
(er)282:the learned sage the charge -> the learned sage, the charge [SD]
[jb: agreed]
(er)286:crowd immediately lose -> crowd immediately loses [LM]
[jb: This is technically OK as-is, but it sounds so awkward to me that I vote to make the change.]
(er)287:one pair take -> one pair takes [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)287:south-easterly -> southeasterly
(er)287:two-storeyed dwelling -> two-storey dwelling [ik: cf. two-storey hostel in 34 and 321]
(er)287:south-easterly wind -> northwesterly wind [JD: From the Lakuri Isles one would sail SE to Barrakeesh. A "strong southeasterly wind" would be an unfavorable head wind in that situation, since wind direction is based on where the wind originates.]
[jb: Agreed.]
(er)288:Kai-alchemy and -> Kai-alchemy, and
(er)288:of Mind Charm -> of <spell>Mind Charm</spell>
(er)290:disgrace and sometimes death awaits -> disgrace and sometimes death await [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)290:sparkling waters -> sparkling water [SD: To GM it is seemingly normal water; hardly Waters of Life, or anything like that]
[jb: agreed]
(er)291:leads to this room -> leads to a room [LM]
[jb: agreed]
(er)291:She hands it to you and then -> She hands it to you, and then [SD: Partition long sentence]
(er)295:dark deserted -> dark, deserted [LM]
(er)297 (Illustration XVII Caption):black furred -> black-furred
(er)298:little disappointed; he had -> little disappointed: he had (cf. refs 201, 134) [LM]
(er)303:- Invisible Shield - -> Shield [spell: ne] [cf. 123, 192]
(er)304:hisses, 'you -> hisses. 'You
(er)306:of a Kai.’ [New paragraph] Lowering his telescope, [SD]
(er)306:o'war -> o' war [LM]
[so: According to Chambers it should be 'men-o'-war']
[jb: men-o'war]
(er)307:effects of your Kai Discipline causes the balloon -> effects of your Kai Discipline cause the balloon [SD]
(er)307:was exciting wasn’t it!' -> was exciting, wasn’t it!' [SD]
(er)310:one (or more) -> any [SO]
(er)314:sight like -> sight, like
(er)317:as a Backpack Item -> as Backpack Items. [SD: In case the player decides to take more than one dose, which is likely]
(er)318:The crowd are -> The crowd is
(er)321:blood-shot -> bloodshot
(er)324:placeboes -> placebos [IK]
(er)337 [x2]:river-bank -> river bank
(er)337:in disbelief, then he turns -> in disbelief, and then he turns [SD]
[SO: Or, disbelief; then]
(er)338:backpack item -> Backpack Item
(er)346:crown coin -> Gold Crown [SD: No other currency used in this adventure]
(er)350:THE BUCCANEERS OF SHADAKI. -> The Buccaneers of Shadaki [SD]
(er)350:Congratulations Grand -> Congratulations, Grand
(er)Combat Rules Summary:Kai Disciplines -> Grand Master Disciplines
(er)Combat Rules Summary:Pick number from Random -> Pick a number from the Random
(er)Combat Rules Summary:Turn to Combat -> Turn to the Combat
(er)Combat Rules Summary:to random number -> to the random number
(er)Combat Rules Summary:when ENDURANCE -> when the ENDURANCE
(er)Combat Rules Summary:ignored, -> ignored;
(er)Combat Rules Summary:Combat Results Tables -> Combat Results Table
(er)Combat Rules Summary:cross reference -> cross-reference
(er)Combat Rules Summary:This is when ENDURANCE points of either character fall to 0. -> This is when ENDURANCE points of either character falls to 0 or below.
Fixed (Not Errata)
(ne)All:[The copyright at the bottom of the page references Trevor Newton as the illustrator. Should we remove/comment out this (c) information?]
[jb: Though Trevor Newton illustrated the original printed edition of Voyage on the Moonstone, Project Aon volunteers have been unable to contact him to request permission to include his illustrations. His artwork does not appear in any Project Aon editions.]
(ne)Title Page:Monstone -> Moonstone
(ne)Title Page:Advanced Dungeons & Dragons World Championships in Baltimore -> (the wording decided on for the previous books is clearer) [LM]
(ft)Dedication:It might be nice to footnote who Aung San Suu Kyi is.
[jb: Aung San Suu Kyi is a renowned pro-democracy activist, advocate of non-violence, and prisoner of conscience in Burma.]
(ne)Acknowledgements:Sections 1-350 -> Sections 1-350) [LM]
(ne)Acknowledgements:Add Brian Williams and a note explaining why his work is being used here
Also, Jan Charvat for his replacement map artwork
(ne)The Game RulesRandom lumber -> Random Number [LM]
(ne)Kai Name:[It would be great if the table(s) was/were centered horizontally. There should be a bit space between the table(s) and the navigation bar.]
[so: How can this be done? Affects Books 21-28]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:Curing You -> [lm: strike line break?]
[so: I am not sure how to fix this. There is a <p> inside a <dd> because there are two separate paragraphs underneath this heading. Can we remove the superfluous newline?]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:toxins. Invisibility [lm: strike line break?]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:mastered four of [four: itals]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:one of the weapons [one: itals]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:Shield / Power Word / Invisible Fist / Lightning Hand / Levitation / Mind Charm [spell]
(ne)Grand Master Disciplines:The Buccaneers of Shadaki [itals]
(ft)Grand Master Disciplines:Details about the Kai Weapon appear in the next section of the game rules.
(ne)Equipment:map [link]
(ne)Equipment:Weapons List [link]
(ne)Equipment:carry is two [two: itals]
(ft)Equipment:and used in addition to two normal weapons. [lm: awesome, but how are you holding the third weapon? your teeth?  also: weapons -> Weapons]
[jb: Is this misleading enough to make a footnote worthwhile?]
[jb: The new Mongoose Publishing editions of the gamebooks clarify that "You may only use one Weapon at a time in combat."]
[so: Fixed in LW1-28, GS1-4]
(ne)Equipment:Add Brian Williams' Flute illustration from later books
(ne)Equipment:It seems like we need to add some margin to the bottom of tables in the text.
[so: How is this done? (Affects Books 21-28)]
(ft)Equipment:"then you may add the higher bonus to your COMBAT SKILL." Footnote: "These bonuses are not cumulative." [so: Isn't this explained in the example immediately below this?]
[so: Fixed in Books 21-28]
(ne)Levels:You begin the New Order adventures at this level of Grand Mastery [itals]
(ne)Levels:[so: How do we start the numbered list at 4?]
[jb: Use <ol start="4">]
(ft)Levels:[jb: It is unclear why a New Order Grand Master becomes a Supreme Master by mastering only 15 of the 16 Grand Master Disciplines. It is also unclear why New Order Grand Masters must master four extra Disciplines in order to receive the same improvements to their Disciplines as Lone Wolf did with fewer.]
(ne)4, 46, 61, 100, 119, 132, 288:Desert Jewel [itals]
(ne)5, 27, 35, 55, 59, 63, 67, 75, 93, 117, 139, 150, 154, 165, 176, 181, 184, 190, 198, 205, 213, 217, 222, 230, 235, 240, 244, 254, 274, 278, 281, 287, 311, 327, 335, 340, 348:The Pride of Sommerlund [itals]
(ne)5:with a sneer bed to his cruel lips -> with a sneer fixed to his cruel lips [LM]
(ft)17:[jb: It is possible that you have fewer than 3 Gold Crowns. If so, you give all of your remaining Crowns to the tavern-keeper's wife.]
(ne)20, 69, 74, 102, 106, 143 [x2], 149, 177 [x2], 193, 200, 219, 285, 310 [x3]:. . . [ellipsis]
(ft)23:[This is the correct answer to the puzzle in Section 40]
(ne)26:open- mouthed -> open-mouthed
(ft)30:[lm: not clear if you still lose the item?]
[jb: It appears that the thief gets away with your item, though that is not entirely clear from this passage.]
(ft)34, 251, 321:If you have nothing to make an offering of, you may turn to 34 instead. [vadron76 (April 19 2011): Same thing as the section 143 problem. Also, assuming you have Gold Crowns when you haven't is a recurring problem throughout this book and every other book as well, but you only tend to notice these things when they happen to you.]
[jb: I'm dubious that you could reach this point with nothing at all. "If you have nothing to offer, you should leave the festival by turning to 321."
Of course 321 and 34 also assume you have at least 2 GC. "If you do not have enough Gold Crowns, you may choose to barter a normal Weapon, Backpack Item, or Special Item at your discretion."]
(ne)36:Gloar [spell]
(ne)36:nearer-and -> nearer and [IK]
(ne)36:nearer-and -> nearer and [LM]
(ft)40:Standard puzzle footnote
(ne)41:super-natural -> supernatural [linebreak]
(ft)47, 123:[jb: The original mentioned that you "see your own Arrow strike [the archer] in the chest and knock him down." To reach this Section, you must not have fired a Bow. Having removed this text, it is left to you to explain why the Grand Master escapes while the archer still lives.]
(ne)50:façade [encode properly]
(ne)72, 297:he is the source [he: itals]
(ne)73, 275:map [link to map]
(ne)96:leas populated -> less populated [IK]
(ne)96:leas -> less [LM] [so: I can't find this--fixed?]
(ne)100, 250:façades [encode properly]
(ne)102:must be delivered [must: itals]
(ne)107, 141:Levitation [spell]
(ne)113:ghost stories; Having seen -> ghost stories; having seen OR ghost stories. Having seen [LM]
(ne)116:sensed a power [power: itals]
(ft)125:[This is the correct answer to the puzzle in Section 174]
(ne)126, 212:mêlée [encode properly]
(ne)142:(musical instrument) [itals]
(ft)142:(3 arrows are 1gc for all or each) [LM]
[jb: It is unclear whether the Candles and Arrows cost 1 Gold Crown each or 1 Gold Crown for a group of three. Considering that a Dagger is on sale for 1 Crown and that a Dagger would generally be worth more than a single Arrow (cf. Section 151), it may be reasonable to assume that you may buy 3 Candles for 1 Gold Crown and 3 Arrows likewise.]
(ft)143:If you have neither of these things, you may get away with giving only one Backpack Item, or none at all if you have none. Alternately, you may choose to surrender your Kai Weapon, but this is not recommended. [vadron76 (April 19 2011): It is possible to come here empty-handed- it happened to me!]
[jb: Maybe "If you have no normal Weapons or fewer than two Backpack Items, you may choose to substitute Special Items at your discretion." You have to have something, right? At this point in the story, are there any story breakers like the Moonstone or the Iron Skull?]
(ne)158:Sense Evil [spell]
(ne)159, 179, 211, 316:Simoom [itals]
(ft)174:Standard puzzle footnote
(ne)200 (Illustration XII Caption):[Encode ellipsis]
(ne)205:day-dream -> daydream [linebreak]
(ne)223:Crack! [onomatopoeia]
(ne)235 (Illustration XIII Caption):The Pride of Sommerlund [Itals]
(ne)271:Mend [spell]
(ne)310:. . . magical . . . [magical: itals]
(ft)328:You agree to her price and pay her -> (possible to get here with less than 10gold crowns) [LM]
[jb: It is possible that you have fewer than 10 Gold Crowns. If so, you give all of your remaining Crowns to the tavern-keeper's wife.]
(ne)Errata:Waponmastery -> Weaponmastery [IK]
(ne)Errata:market-ssquare -> market-square [IK]

Large Illustrations
I5Slowly he unsheathes his scimitar and, with a sneer fixed to his cruel lips, he raises the blade.
II31Six muscular thugs slash the air with scimitars and axes as they advance slowly towards you.
III50You see Dromodon for what he really is - a ruthless murderer, a heartless killing machine.
IV68The leader of the eagles turns and you see that he is about to attack with his razor-sharp claws.
V75A crackling bolt of blazing energy shoots from the creature's maw towards your ship.
VI91In his rage, Torvax orders that you be executed at dusk before the entire arena.
VII124The town of Gologo is in a lively carnival mood and native Vakeros gather on the beach below you.
VIII129For a few dreadful moments, the helmsman's head and chest are engulfed in a roaring ball of fire.
IX150Oriah holds you with her deep brown eyes, and you sense at once that she is as intelligent as she is beautiful.
X160'The quarantine will be strictly enforced until the scourge of Bita Fever has been eradicated from our midst!'
XI180Half of the passengers make for Temejun's tent whilst the other half gather about a blazing camp fire.
XII200This is not the beast you slew. This is his mate who has hunted you, and is ravenous for revenge . . .
XIII235An armed caravel, The Pride of Sommerlund, awaits your arrival at the quay.
XIV250From your seat by the fountain, you observe a struggle taking place nearby.
XV256From out of the darkness, you see a great marble statue come crashing down the narrow staircase towards you.
XVI289As the bird soars into the sky, the rope tightens about her waist and she is hoisted screaming into the air.
XVII297In a split-second, he becomes a snarling hulk of black furred death.
XVIII311'Welcome aboard,' says Sergeant Dryan as you enter the cabin.
XIX332The elder points the tip of his black staff at the satchel containing the Moonstone.
XX338Infuriated, the toll collector brandishes his sword and threatens to cut off your ears.

Illustration Placements

Large Illustrations
Ensure the placement data contains the correct image dimensions.

(er)tssf [x4]:monastery -> Monastery [SD]
[SO: Rejected; only "Kai Monastery" and "Monastery of the Kai" require capitalisation]
(er)The Story So Far:god-like -> godlike
(er)Grand Master Disciplines:adventure. You [lm: strike line break?]
[so: The line-break is there in the published version. I see no compelling reason to lose it.]
(er)The Game Rules:your number of -> your total of
(??)Grand Master Disciplines:[Use Magnakai heading illustrations from later books?]
[jb: I checked, and I don't seem to have the headings (or even the background) for the Magnakai Disciplines.]
(er)Equipment:(Special Items) -> (Special Item) [cf. (Backpack Item)]
[jb: I'm not especially motivated to make this change.]
(er)Equipment:(Weapons) -> (Weapon) [cf. (Backpack Item)]
[jb: I'm not especially motivated to make this change.]
(ft)Rules For Combat:It is not necessarily the case that the Grand Master will lose any EP during the combat.
(er)Improved Grand Master Disciplines:"Lone Wolf New Order series" [Should we italicize all of "Lone Wolf New Order"?]
[so: We haven't for Lone Wolf Magnakai, Lone Wolf Kai, or Lone Wolf Grand Master]
(er)5, 230, 276:feet-first [Is this OK?]
(ft)5, 230:[Does "close-combat weapon" mean your non-Kai Weapon weapons?]
[so: Is explained in the Equipment section: "You are proficient with all close combat and missile weapons."]
(er)12, 104, 163, 178, 189, 238, 323, 341:Kai curing -> Magnakai Curing
[jb: I think the intention isn't to reference a specific discipline here. OK as-is.]
(er)13, 97, 121:ghastly green eyes [lm: what was decided about this? I forgot.]]
[jb: So it sounds like we should reverse any past decisions on this. Also, leave as-is.]
(er)13, 97, 121:crackling blue fire -> crackling, blue fire [LM]
[jb: So it sounds like we should reverse any past decisions on this. Also, leave as-is.]
(er)14:militia are -> militia is [LM]
[jb: OK as-is since they can be seen as searching individuals.]
(er)14, 111, 233, 256:[end over end] vs [end-over-end] [SD: Pick one, PA? I suggest latter]
[SO: end-over-end it is!]
(er)17, 28, 77, 267:south/east gatehouse -> South/East Gatehouse [SO: cf. Book 9]
(er)17, 28, 77, 267:south/east gatehouse -> South/East Gatehouse [SO: cf. Book 9]
(er)21:sword arm -> sword-arm
[jb: If this were a compound noun modifier, then I would say yes. In this case, it's OK.]
(er)21:enemy launch -> enemy launches [LM]
[jb: This is an "enemy horde" so enemy is used here in a collective sense. OK as-is.]
(er)26:well known -> well-known [SD]
[jb: An adverb-adjective modifier doesn't need a hyphen. OK as-is.]
(er)26, 80, 112, 163, 169, 341:healing -> Healing
(er)28, 73:south gate -> South Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and 27]
(er)28, 73:south gate -> South Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and 27]
(er)30:crowd burst -> crowd bursts (crowd singular cf ref 236) [LM]
[jb: Each individual in the crowd can laugh as it is here, but in 236 each individual can't flow around you. :) OK as-is.]
(er)34:bloodshot [SD: remove from online errata list - transcription was ok = "bloodshot"]
(er)35:the Trarta shoal have -> the Trarta shoal has [LM]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)36:face-first [Is this OK?]
(er)40:The troupe are gifted acrobats and jugglers -> The troupe is gifted acrobats and jugglers [LM] [so: Or, The troupe is comprised of.../The troupe comprises...]
[jb: OK as-is]
(ft)44:[lm: no endurance loss from the arrow?]
[jb: The penalty seems to be solely the effective -5 CS penalty when compared with 261. Perhaps it is best to leave this as-is and unfootnoted?]
(er)46, 122, 209, 227:camouflage -> Camouflage
(er)49:face-down [Is this OK?]
[jb: I think so. I've also found some indication that "facedown" is OK but that just lookswrong.]
(er)52:dispatched -> despatched
(er)52, 211, 212, 334, 337:tracking -> Tracking
(er)53, 141, 168, 326:nerve-racking -> nerve-wracking
(er)54 [x2], 56, 83 [x2], 132, 190, 208, 286, 310, 318, 333:item -> Item / items -> Items [LM]
(er)57, 85, 312:segments which -> segments, which [SD: long sentence]
[jb: OK as-is. A reader may need to breath in the middle of a sentence, but that's not how commas are used in more formal writing.]
(er)57, 85, 312:doorway and fill the -> doorway and fills the (subject of 'fill' must be 'it'; the 'large segments' themselves didn't fill the room with dust) [LM]
[jb: I see where this is coming from. The segments of the statue could fill the room with dust as well as the statue as a whole could. The sentence reads like like it's wrong when the suggested change is made. I vote for leaving as-is.]
(er)58:custom? [lm: this is the first time i've heard this word used this way. i guess it's where we get the word customer from, but i couldn't find this defintion in the dictionary; so, i'm checking if it's correct]
[so: Using 'custom' in this way is completely correct, yes.]
(er)61 [x3], 329:journeyman -> Journeyman [jb]
(er)62:[Remove all - symbols from list]
[jb: OK as-is]
(ne)73, 275:[Signpost info in small CAPS]
(er)77:south gates -> South Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and 27]
(er)98, 136, 157, 260, 283:or less -> or lower
(er)103, 182, 277:well-being -> wellbeing
(er)104:men's -> mens' [LM]
[so: No; "men" is in the plural form, but it is treated as singular (cf. Sheep vs. Sheep's)]
(er)106:well furnished -> well-furnished [SD]
[jb: Or, Kai healing]
[jb: OK as-is.]
(er)111, 256:militia, who are following closely, split -> militia, which is following closely, splits [LM]
[jb: That's a toss-up. I vote leave as-is.]
(er)112:head-first [Is this OK?]
(er)122, 145, 209, 227:Jhani -> Jheni [SD]
(er)126:Oriah's horses -> Oriah's horse [LM] [so: No; "yours and Oriah's horses" refers to two horses, not just Oriah's horse.]
(er)126:crowd scream and scatter -> crowd screams and scatters [LM]
[jb: It makes more sense to me that the crowd screams individually, even more so for scattering. Leave as-is.]
(er)128, 179, 273:east gate -> East Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 16, and 18]
(er)129, 269:crew scream -> crew screams [LM]
[jb: Same justification as 126. Leave as-is.]
(er)135:city guardsmen -> City Guardsmen
[jb: Our manual of style allows us to make a judgment call on this (if it didn't I would fix it) and it seems unnecessary to capitalize here. The phrase is generic enough that I think it would give the wrong impression to capitalize. I doubt that City Guardsmen is the formal name of their group.]
(er)136, 157:or more -> or higher
(er)146:[Bir Rabalou--160 miles.] [SD: Signpost info. Not ALL CAPS in original text; should be changed for consistency]
(er)149:queue groan -> queue groans [LM]
[jb: Same justification as 126. Leave as-is.]
(er)151:with finest silver -> with the finest silver [SD: or: with fine silver]
[jb: I've heard it put this way before.]
(er)157:updraughts -> updrafts
(er)163:8 ENDURANCE points -> 4 ENDURANCE points (cf. 341)
[so: I think there should be a greater EP loss for reaching this section]
(er)176, 311:Alright -> All right [tp]
[bk: According to "Although 'alright' is a common spelling in written dialogue and in other types of informal writing, 'all right' is used in more formal, edited writing." Since both of these uses are in dialogue, I'd say reject.]
[tp: In my experience, the emphasis is on informal rather than "written dialogue". "Alright" is usually treated as a nonstandard synonym of "all right". But I'd accept it in dialogue if that's the prevailing opinion]
[jb: Regardless of pronunciation, I think "alright" can help convey in the reader's mind a colloquial feeling even it it isn't pronounced differently (especially readers who know that "alright" is frowned on). As Grammar Girl pointed out "[the] American Heritage Guide to Contemporary Usage and Style [...] states that 'alright' as one word 'has never been accepted as standard' but it then goes on to explain that 'all right' as two words and 'alright' as one word have two distinct meanings. It gives the example of the sentence 'The figures are all right.' When you use 'all right' as two words, the sentence means 'the figures are all accurate.' When you write 'The figures are alright,' with 'alright' as one word, this source explains that the sentence means 'the figures are satisfactory.'" I think "alright" is headed toward standardization anyway. I vote for reject.]
(er)178:you know, they insist -> you know they insist [SD: One comma too many in this sentence]
[jb: OK as-is. There's no quota on commas. ]
(er)177:one set are human prints, but the other set are -> one set is human prints, but the other set is [LM]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)179:clangs [onomatopoeia]
[SD: Probably not emphatic or noticeable enough to be regarded as onomatopoeic (background noise would perhaps best describe it. Compare with section 252 - this [clang] is of enough significance to consider italicizing.]
(er)181:main gate -> Main Gate
(er)188:Elder Magi who -> Elder Magi, who [SD]
[jb: OK as-is. No comma necessary to separate essential clauses from the sentence.]
(er)195, 289, 326:Itikar(s) -> itikar(s)
(er)212:shouts Oswin, and he -> shouts Oswin, as he [LM]
[jb: This change sounds better, but it's OK as-is.]
(er)219:says Oswin, ‘we're not -> says Oswin. ‘We're not [LM]
(er)225:curing -> Curing [LM]
(er)227:That's wrong, that's wrong! -> That's wrong! that's wrong! [LM]
(er)227:bottle catches you a glancing blow to the head -> bottle deals you a glancing blow to the head [SD: "catches" and "glancing" essentially mean the same thing; i.e. the reader gets the point]
[jb: Understood, but OK as-is.]
(er)230:wave of enemy raiders come -> wave of enemy raiders comes [LM]
[jb: OK as-is since the riders can be viewed as leaping individually.]
(er)232:north gate -> North Gate [SO: cf. Books 9 and 14]
(er)235:bodyguard of King's troopers have -> bodyguard of King's troopers has [LM]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)235:escort, having delivered you safely to the quay, now bid -> escort, having delivered you safely to the quay, now bids [LM]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)235:and depart -> and departs [LM]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)245:and cleft chin -> and a cleft chin [jb: OK as-is]
(er)264:thuds [onomatopoeia]
(er)275:leaving harbour -> leaving the harbour [lm: or is this idiom?]
[jb: OK as-is.]
(er)281:the remainder tend -> the remainder tends [LM]
[jb: OK as-is.]
(er)281:and clear -> and clears [LM]
[jb: OK as-is.]
(er)281:He was the brother of Sesketera -> He is the brother of Sesketera [SD: He’s dead, but technically still Sesketera’s brother. is a passage of speech by Oriah, so may want to leave unchanged]
[SO: Agreed; it's Oriah's colloquialism; rejected]
(er)285:was heard. ‘The fiend -> was heard, ‘the fiend (quote is all one sentence) [LM]
[so: Disagree. Spoken English does not have to conform to the same grammatical rules and written English. "Down by the river," is a self-contained spoken sentence in this context and can be punctuated accordingly.]
(er)287:In fading light, -> In the fading light [lm: or is this idiom?]
[jb: OK as-is]
(er)323:of the Khorda towards -> of the Khorda, towards [SD]
[jb: No need to make a separation here.]
(er)328:tavern-keeper's -> tavernkeeper's
(er)336, 344:[Put signpost info in small CAPS]
(er)338:each hand him 1 Gold Crown apiece -> each hand him 1 Gold Crown OR hand him 1 Gold Crown apiece [LM]
[jb: Redundant, but OK as-is.]
(er)350:troop of Vakeros guards rush -> troop of Vakeros guards rushes [LM]
[jb: OK as-is.]