25: Trail of the Wolf
| Pending | ||
| Pending (Not Errata) |
| Fixed | ||
| (er) | The "XYZ, then you" problem: (For example: section 13: hands on his chest, then you) can resolve by -> and then you OR: replacing comma with semicolon (Project Aon's call - would need to review every case to ensure the text flows smoothly) Occurrences thus far: 13, 30, 78, 80, 90, 95, 102, 105, 110, 155, 161, 182, 191, 196, 198, 221, 225, 226, 280, 280, 316, 320 [SO: All fixed except Kai Weapon and Rules For Combat] | |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | MS5075 -> MS5070 |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | elite -> élite |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | Kai monastery -> Kai Monastery |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | monastery of the Kai -> Monastery of the Kai |
| (er) | The Story So Far [x3]: | Plain of Darkness -> Plane of Darkness |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | sixth sense -> Sixth Sense |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | anxiously. 'He [new paragraph for new speaker] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | Supreme Disciplines -> Supreme Master Disciplines |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | Darklord armies -> Darkland armies [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | which comprise of -> which comprise |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | Zorkaan...its lair -> his lair |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | it had perished -> he had perished |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | its movements -> his movements |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | its freedom -> his freedom [so: cf. "he was able" in tssf] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | agreed a plan of action -> agreed on a plan of action |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | that you will find at the front of this book. For ease of use and further adventuring, it is recommended that you photocopy these pages [remove] |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | on the last page of the book [remove] |
| (er) | The Game Rules [x2]: | ie -> i.e. |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | your number of -> your total of |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | normal weapons and -> normal weapons, and |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | ENDURANCE points fall to zero -> ENDURANCE points fall to zero or below |
| (er) | Kai Name: | elite -> élite |
| (er) | Kai Name: | You can record your personal Kai name on the bookplate which appear on the inside cover of this book. [remove] |
| (er) | Disciplines: | symbols and -> symbols, and |
| (er) | Disciplines: | sixth sense -> Sixth Sense |
| (er) | Disciplines: | their COMBAT SKILL is reduced -> their ENDURANCE is reduced |
| (er) | Disciplines: | battle wounds -> battle-wounds |
| (er) | Disciplines: | 1 to 3 -> one to three |
| (er) | Disciplines: | Magi-Magic -> Magi-magic [heading] |
| (er) | Disciplines: | Old Kingdom battle magic -> Old Kingdom battle-magic |
| (er) | Disciplines: | magi-magic spells -> Old Kingdom Spells |
| (er) | Disciplines: | guild of magicians -> Guild of Magicians |
| (er) | Disciplines: | individual (or combinations of) elements that are available, -> individual elements that are available, or combinations thereof, |
| (er) | Disciplines: | remove or accelerate -> remove, or accelerate |
| (er) | Disciplines: | eg -> e.g. |
| (er) | Disciplines: | dialect and -> dialect, and |
| (er) | Disciplines: | Kai Weapon and any -> Kai Weapon, and any |
| (er) | Disciplines: | For every adventure that you complete successfully in the New Order series, you will gain proficiency with one additional weapon. -> For every adventure that you complete successfully in the New Order series while possessing the Discipline of Grand Weaponmastery, you will gain proficiency with one additional weapon. [IK][SO: This also affects Books 22-28.] |
| (er) | Grand Master Disciplines: | strength and capacity of these fortresses increases -> strength and capacity of these fortresses increase [LM] [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | Grand Master Disciplines: | Duration of the spirit-walk, and the protection afforded to his in animate body, increases -> Duration of the spirit-walk and the protection afforded to his inanimate body increase [LM] [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | Grand Master Disciplines: | number and accuracy of these predictions increases -> number and accuracy of these predictions increase [LM] [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | Grand Master Disciplines: | and any other Special Items -> and any other items [lm: you can continue with all your items, right?] [so: "any other Special Items and Backpack Items that".] |
| (er) | Equipment: | (see the inside front cover of this book) [remove] |
| (er) | Equipment: | arrow(s) -> Arrow(s) [x8] |
| (er) | Kai Weapon: | new-found -> newfound |
| (er) | Kai Weapon: | elite -> élite |
| (er) | Kai Weapon: | at the front of the book [remove] |
| (er) | Equipment: | bow -> Bow [x8] |
| (er) | Equipment: | quiver -> Quiver |
| (er) | Equipment: | eg -> e.g. |
| (er) | Equipment: | a sword or an axe -> a Sword or an Axe [LM / jb] |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero, at which point the one with the zero score is declared dead. If Lone Wolf is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points reduced. -> This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero or below, at which point that combatant is declared dead. If Lone Wolf is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points possibly reduced. |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | on the inside back cover of this book [remove] |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | A summary of Combat Rules appears on the page after the Random Number Table. [remove] |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | Only you may [you: bold; under Evasion of combat] [original is in italics] |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | combat!). -> combat)! |
| (er) | Levels: | (You begin the New Order adventures at this level of Grand Mastery) -> - You begin the New Order adventures at this level of Grand Mastery [also: itals (ne)] |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | infra-vision -> infravision |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | herbmastery -> Herbmastery |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | out-distance -> outdistance |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | Mindblend [spell] [orig. is non-itals] |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | a Grand Guardian -> a Kai Grand Guardian |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | etc, -> etc., |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | 'Improved Grand Master Disciplines' [remove quote marks] |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | arrow, or arrow-like -> Arrow, or Arrow-like [PH] [so: Also (ne) in Books 26, 27, and 28] |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | normal and infravision -> normal vision [or, sight] and infravision |
| (er) | Grand Master's Wisdom: | gods -> Gods |
| (er) | 1, 74, 156, 212, 289: | Artifact(s) -> Artefact(s) |
| (er) | 4: | Kai weapon -> Kai Weapon |
| (er) | 6: | bas reliefs -> bas-reliefs [SD] |
| (er) | 6: | shadowy alcove. And, to the left [SD: Problem: starting a sentence with “and”. Could remove “And” without disturbing the flow of the text] [SO: Other sections with sentences starting with And: 75, 106] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 8, 27, 93, 218, 338, 343: | seemlessly -> seamlessly [SD] |
| (er) | 8: | Clunk!. -> Clunk! [onomatopoeia: ne] [jb: Why not "clunk!"? Do we often capitalize onomatopoeiae?] [so: Other capitalised occurrences: 16tlov 273: Crack!; 18dotd 117, 350: Crack!; 21votm 223: Crack!; 23mh 20, 51, 119, 235, 290: Crack!; 24rw 108, 131, 215, 342: Crack!; 25totw 8, 93, 218: Clunk!; 99, 181, 331: Crack!; 175: Clang!; 26tfobm 110, 114, 232, 310, 341: Crack!; 27v 12: Click!; 92: Clang!; 266: Crack!; 28thos 95: Crack!] [jb: Eh, I think "Clunk!" is just fine. :) ] |
| (er) | 11, 24, 39, 51, 96, 99, 134, 135, 136, 160, 169, 174, 181, 183, 203, 219, 230, 235, 256, 293, 300, 302, 315, 331, 344, 345, 348: | sixth sense -> Sixth Sense |
| (er) | 11, 149, 345: | infra-vision -> infravision |
| (er) | 11, 300: | pole-arms -> polearms (as per 24rw:31; 25totw:155; 28thos:54 [x2], 237) [ik] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 12: | meal of Gnallia -> Meal of Gnallia |
| (er) | 12: | this bacteria -> these bacteria (or: this bacterium) [SD: Not sure. Bacteria = plural of bacterium. I can see what JD is trying to say, inviting the player to take portions of one type of bacterium.] [jb: Although correct, does this make it sound distractingly pretentious? The word "bacteria" is often used as a singular, so do we want to distract the majority of readers who couldn't decline a Latin noun if their life depended on it?] [ss: We do not normally use "this/these" in front of a word like bacteria, its actually too generic of a term. But then, I typically refer to individual species in my work. The word "Bacillus" is a genus name, it should be capitalized (ie our genus is Homo, our species is sapiens.) Ironically, the use of the word bacteria fits better than in the other two places. In the second context, I think saying "The" instead of "This" fits better.] [jb: "At once you recognize the bacteria to be Gnallia, a benign species of bacillus that is often used to prevent and cure infections of the blood. The raw bacteria are edible and rich in protein, and there is sufficient here for 5 Meals." I don't think capitalizing "bacillus" is strictly necessary because in the past it was used to denote any bacterium. It's in this informal sense that I'm pretty sure Dever was using the word, not to denote the genus Bacillus.] |
| (er) | 13: | hands on his chest, then you -> hands on his chest, and then you [SD] [SO: Or, chest; then] |
| (er) | 13, 102: | battle tunic -> battle-tunic |
| (er) | 13: | Kai curing -> Magnakai Curing |
| (er) | 16, 303: | barge it with your shoulder -> barge into it with your shoulder [so: cf. 22tbos 3 and 151 errata] |
| (er) | 17, 56, 92, 98, 99, 158, 207, 248 [x2], 268 [x3], 272, 276 [x3], 277, 280 [x2], 284, 317: | arrow(s) -> Arrow(s) |
| (er) | 17, 56, 99, 161, 198, 207 [x2], 248, 268, 272, 274, 277, 280: | bow -> Bow |
| (er) | 17: | rib-cage -> rib cage |
| (er) | 18: | go limp, then you detach -> go limp, and then you detach [SD] [SO: Or, limp; then] |
| (er) | 22, 206: | its swirling black form -> his swirling black form [SD: In sections 59, 88, 191, 196: Zorkaan is referred to as a character: he, his, him, etc. Also, GM knows full well what/who this swirling black form is] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 25: | gracious ease -> graceful ease |
| (er) | 26, 27, 28, 29 [x3], 30, 31, 37 [x2], 42 [x2], 71 [x2], 81 [x2], 114, 171, 175, 176, 177 [x2], 179, (+others): | [SD: Multiple cases of missing full stops after numbered section references are the end of a sentence.] |
| (er) | 26: | turn to 30 -> turn to 307 |
| (er) | 26, 77, 193, 257: | section of the landing and stairs are -> section of the landing and stairs is [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 26, 77, 193: | assault troopers -> assault-troopers |
| (er) | 29, 133, 159 [x2]: | rope -> Rope |
| (er) | 30: | weapons -> Weapons |
| (er) | 30: | your shoulder, then you pull open -> your shoulder, and then you pull open [SD] [SO: Or, shoulder; then] |
| (er) | 30, 95: | clang [onomatopoeia] |
| (er) | 30: | spluttering torches -> sputtering torches [ik] [dd] [bk] |
| (er) | 31, 33, 44, 78, 122, 127, 146, 214, 221, 245, 278, 291, 324, 349: | Brotherhood spell -> Brotherhood Spell |
| (er) | 31, 33, 44, 245, 324: | - Lightning Hand - -> Lightning Hand [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 32: | coast is still clear and so you leave -> coast is still clear, so you leave [SD: Sounds better, and to make it consistent with section 118] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 35: | Dargorse buds -> Dargorse Buds [ik: as everywhere else in this book] [SO: The Dargorse Buds are not in your possession at this moment; either Dargorse Buds or dargorse buds] [jb: Unless Dargorse is a location that I've forgotten about, I'd say dargorse buds.] |
| (er) | 37, 283: | stone and mortar crumbles -> stone and mortar crumble [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 38, 65, 117, 190, 236, 274, 301, 347: | Old Kingdom spell -> Old Kingdom Spell |
| (er) | 38, 65, 301: | - Shield - -> Shield [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 40: | black amulet -> Black Amulet [SD] |
| (er) | 40: | [B]lack [A]mulet. But as soon [SD: Problem: starting a sentence with “but”. I propose replacing the full stop with a comma. This is endemic throughout the book)!] [SO: Other sections with sentences starting with But: 56, 78, 81, 90, 92, 94, 96, 110, 145, 191, 211, 221, 231, 248, 275, 279, 283, 307, 310, 343, 347] [jb: I think we should get rid of the "But" because it doesn't really add to the meaning of the sentence.] [jb: 92, 96, 110, 178, 229, 248, 275, 307, 343: leave as-is 40: Amulet. But as -> Amulet. As 56, 145, 347: pedestal. But -> pedestal, but 78, 94, 221: staircase. But -> staircase, but 81: drupelets. But -> drupelets, but 90: entity. But as -> entity. As 191: attack. But despite -> attack. Despite 211: cloak. But this -> cloak. This 231: warriors. But -> warriors, but 279: attacking. But -> attacking, but 283: wall. But when -> wall. When 286: ambush. But -> ambush, but 310: off. But -> off, but] |
| (er) | 43, 124: | Ogshezar mountains -> Ogshezar Mountains |
| (er) | 43, 124: | Vashna -> Zagarna |
| (er) | 46, 254: | whistle past -> whistles past [jb: The deadly bolts slam into the parapet and whistle past your head,...] |
| (er) | 47: | the rank Kai Grand Superior. -> the rank of Kai Grand Master Superior. [SD] |
| (er) | 49, 67, 132, 294, 325: | Lone Wolf [itals] |
| (er) | 52: | of gully -> of the gully |
| (er) | 53 [x2], 116 [x2]: | decanter -> Decanter |
| (er) | 55, 200, 223: | semi-circular -> semicircular |
| (er) | 55: | not budge; it is -> not budge: it is [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 56, 145, 287, 347: | If you possess Kai-surge, turn to 185. -> If you possess Kai-screen, turn to 185. |
| (er) | 62, 299: | breed of agarashi that hail -> breed of Agarashi that hails |
| (er) | 62, 299: | agarashi -> Agarashi |
| (er) | 62, 299: | Kai-alchemy and -> Kai-alchemy, and |
| (er) | 62, 299: | Magi-magic and -> Magi-magic, and |
| (er) | 66, 339: | bone Dice -> Bone Dice |
| (er) | 66, 339: | accordingly.) [New Paragraph] You are scanning [SD] |
| (er) | 66, 339: | pair of Bone Dice rest -> pair of Bone Dice rests [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 66, 339: | in your Backpack [remove] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 66, 339: | A pair of Bone Dice rest on the table and two Spears lie on the floor beside it. (If you want to keep any of these items in your Backpack, [lm: I'd imagine the dice to be a special item, but at any rate the spears would not be carried in the backpack] [so: delete "in your Backpack?"] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 68: | Kaistar / Raumas -> "Kaistar" / "Raumas" |
| (er) | 69, 72, 121, 311: | - Invisible Fist -> Invisible Fist [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 70, 250: | - Spawnsmite - -> "Spawnsmite" [also: remove Itals] |
| (er) | 70: | If you possess the Kai Weapon ‘Spawnsmite’ you may add -> If you possess the Kai Weapon ‘Spawnsmite’ or ‘Valiance’ you may add [jc: Is necromancer a kind of magician? I think so.] |
| (er) | 71: | your weapons -> your Weapons |
| (er) | 74: | Dazgannon -> Dazganon |
| (er) | 74: | Plain of Darkness -> Plane of Darkness |
| (er) | 75, 106: | Kagazitzaga range -> Kagazitzaga Range |
| (er) | 78, 127, 221, 270: | - Levitation - -> Levitation [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 79, 163, 234: | meal -> Meal [jb: This would imply that the GM can only use this if a meal is available according to game rules. I think this is the implication of this sentence, but capitalizing "meal" would make it more clear.] |
| (er) | 84: | Spawnsmite / Valiance -> "Spawnsmite" / "Valiance" [also: remove itals (er)] |
| (er) | 84 [Cap]: | reptillian -> reptilian |
| (er) | 85, 103, 133, 139, 176, 181, 194, 230, 273: | backpack -> Backpack [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 86, 171: | The sudden shock and the stinging pain of your wound spurs -> The sudden shock and the sting ing pain of your wound spur |
| (er) | 87: | Determindedly -> Determinedly |
| (er) | 87, 91, 304: | Kai rank of Grand -> rank of Kai Grand |
| (er) | 90: | - Firefall - -> "Firefall" [also: remove Itals] |
| (er) | 91, 100, 270: | 10 feet -> ten feet [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 93, 176, 338: | anti-clockwise -> anticlockwise [SD] |
| (er) | 93, 203, 218, 271, 285, 338, 342: | mortice -> mortise [ik: same replacement was made in 24rw] |
| (er) | 94: | semi-circle -> semicircle |
| (er) | 97: | Skyrza -> Skryza [ik: as everywhere else in this book] |
| (er) | 99, 181, 331: | Crack!, -> Crack! [onomatopoeia: ne] |
| (er) | 102: | Magnakai healing -> Magnakai Curing |
| (er) | 103, 141, 292: | Backpack Items list -> list of Backpack Items |
| (er) | 103: | before your cloak and backpack ignite. -> as your cloak and backpack ignite. [lm: cf.ref.194] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 103, 194: | and it crumbles -> and they crumble [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 103, 194: | stone and mortar is very dry -> stone and mortar are very dry [SD] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 104, 231: | end over end -> end-over-end |
| (er) | 105: | - Sommerswerd - -> Sommerswerd [also: remove Itals] [jb: Yeah, dashes are a bit much, but perhaps commas instead.] |
| (er) | 106, 129, 239, 251: | treeline -> tree-line [SD] |
| (er) | 107, 149, 169, 259, 345: | Kai mastery -> Kai Mastery |
| (er) | 107, 174: | platinum amulet -> Platinum Amulet |
| (er) | 107, 174, 350: | the Monastery -> the monastery |
| (er) | 107, 174: | before leaving -> before you left [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 110: | [Remove quotes from thought-speech] [Also: Thought-speech in Itals (er)] |
| (er) | 110: | sky-craft -> skycraft [ik: as in 26tfobm and 27v] |
| (er) | 110: | rolling -> roiling [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 111, 209: | Magnakai camouflage -> Magnakai Invisibility |
| (er) | 113, 281: | wolfhound, 'or -> wolfhound. 'Or |
| (er) | 113: | hounds' -> hound's |
| (er) | 113, 281: | Drakkar warrior -> Drakkarim warrior [PAMoS] |
| (er) | 115, 199: | crysalises -> chrysalises |
| (er) | 115, 199: | coccooned -> cocooned |
| (er) | 117: | - Invisible Fist - -> Invisible Fist [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 122, 278, 349: | - Counterspell - -> Counterspell [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 122: | blazing sun emblem -> blazing-sun emblem [so: cf. 02smr "globe-of-the-world emblem" (16, 241), but also "ace of spades emblem" (30, 82, 210); 06tkot "toa tree emblem" (137); 23mh "tiger's head emblem" (84), "eagle's head emblem" (159), but also "eagle's-head emblem" (167, 256); 24rw "circle-and-star" emblem (102); 25totw "blazing sun emblem" (109, 122); 28thos "tiger's-head emblem" (84), but also "tiger's head emblem" (117, 256).] [JDu: Hmm - I personally prefer the non-hyphenated version (I don't think I would have thought to hyphenate something like this if I were writing.) I guess it comes down to clarity - but I think I would probably use quotes rather than a hyphen if there was an issue with clarity (ducks for cover!).] [bk: Agree. I guess hyphenate all of them, then.] |
| (er) | 123, 313: | Grandmaster Banedon -> Guildmaster Banedon |
| (er) | 123, 313: | re-opens -> reopens |
| (er) | 123, 313: | spared me my -> saved my [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 125, 305: | Backpack Item, turn -> Backpack Item, or choose not to use it, turn |
| (er) | 128 [x2], 151 [x2]: | ie -> i.e. |
| (er) | 129, 239, 251: | north-east -> northeast |
| (er) | 129, 239, 251: | 15 miles -> fifteen miles |
| (er) | 129, 251, 340: | there is no flora or fauna -> there are no flora or fauna [SD] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 130, 234: | crystaline -> crystalline [SD] |
| (er) | 133: | lassoo -> lasso |
| (er) | 134: | 6-18 -> 6-8 |
| (er) | 135: | Aware to the danger -> Aware of the danger [SD: Or, Alert to the danger] |
| (er) | 136: | pitch of its cry -> pitch of his cry |
| (er) | 137: | whistle past -> whistles past [jb: The deadly missiles smash into the parapet and whistle past your ears,...] |
| (er) | 139, 213: | pipe -> Kraan Pipe |
| (er) | 139: | If you possess Bardsmanship -> If you possess Bardsmanship, and have attained the rank of Kai Grand Master Superior [SO: You can only obtain the Kraan Pipe if you have Bardsmanship (cf. Section 9)] [jb: So we're justifying this because a GM with Bardmanship but below a rank of Kai Grand Master Superior would be unable to "utilize their musical skills to pacify an excited or hostile animal" and otherwise this requirement is redundant?] [so: It is only possible to possess the Kraan Pipe if you possess Bardsmanship (cf. Section 9-> 246; contrast 9->165). Since the player has already said they possess the Kraan Pipe in the previous section (Section 345) they must possess Bardsmanship, so the choice here is pointless. The Improved Disciplines section you quoted is also good reasoning.] |
| (er) | 140, 172, 187, 222: | Alema / Valiance -> "Alema" / "Valiance" [also: remove itals (er)] |
| (er) | 140, 172, 187, 222: | You may also add 5 to your ENDURANCE for the protection -> You may also restore up to 5 points to your ENDURANCE for the protection [jc: I think this should be less confusing, also in Sections 172, 187 and 222 in this book] [so: Or, You may reduce the total damage inflicted upon you by 5 points due to the protection] [jb: I think "You may reduce the total damage inflicted upon you by 5 ENDURANCE points due to the protection" is the most intuitive in context.] |
| (er) | 141, 230, 292: | Dargorse buds -> Dargorse Buds |
| (er) | 146: | - Mind Charm - -> Mind Charm [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 150, 168: | Bow, or -> Bow, nor |
| (er) | 150 [Cap]: | Drakkar rider -> Drakkarim rider [PAMoS] |
| (er) | 155: | gutteral -> guttural |
| (er) | 156: | black amulet -> Black Amulet [SD: Capital letters, since this item is about to be discarded and removed from inventory] |
| (er) | 157: | death throes -> death-throes |
| (er) | 160, 315: | jet black -> jet-black |
| (er) | 160, 315: | portcullissed -> portcullised [SD: (Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.)] |
| (er) | 161, 198, 272: | add 3 -> remember to add 3 |
| (er) | 162: | this item, turn -> this item, or choose not to use it, turn |
| (er) | 166: | inlayed -> inlaid [SD] |
| (er) | 167, 220: | Bow, or neither -> Bow, nor either |
| (er) | 167: | moment longer; you must -> moment longer: you must [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 168: | If you possess none of these skills -> If you possess neither of these skills [SD: Only two skills usable here; also, for consistency with rest of book] |
| (er) | 168: | the bones and ordure that carpets -> the bones and ordure that carpet |
| (er) | 171: | Turn to 320 -> Turn to 320. |
| (er) | 175: | Clang!, -> Clang! [onomatopoeia: ne] |
| (er) | 175: | Turn to 269 -> Turn to 269. |
| (er) | 175: | weapon -> Weapon |
| (er) | 176: | Turn to 200 -> Turn to 200. |
| (er) | 177: | Turn to 234 -> Turn to 234. |
| (er) | 177: | Turn to 130 -> Turn to 130. |
| (er) | 179: | Turn to 120 -> Turn to 120. |
| (er) | 183: | - Alema - -> "Alema" [also: remove Itals] |
| (er) | 185, 296: | If you survive the mission successfully -> If you complete the mission successfully [so: cf. Similar change in Book 24] |
| (er) | 190, 347: | - Power Word - -> Power Word [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 195: | loud discordant -> loud, discordant |
| (er) | 196: | then you raise you eyes -> then you raise your eyes [SD] |
| (er) | 200: | Dargorse, and wish to use it -> Dargorse Buds [SD: OR: some Dargorse, and wish to use it. Former sounds better, especially if PA wants to formalise as Dargorse -> Dargorse Buds throughout. However... I flag the latter because of LW27 Vampirium: Section 117: "some Poghlam" in reference to an alchemical Backpack Item)] [jc: Also, remove "And wish to use it" as the following Section indicates its use is not optional] |
| (er) | 201, 242: | net -> Net [also: spell (er)] |
| (er) | 201: | Bow and -> Bow, and |
| (er) | 202: | knowledge of herbmastery -> knowledge of Herbmastery [SD: OR: Discipline of Herbmastery (latter seems more consistent throughout the book, as far as referring to GM disciplines as "Discipline of XYZ" is concerned)] |
| (er) | 202: | this Dargorse -> these Dargorse Buds |
| (er) | 204: | detrius -> detritus [SD] |
| (er) | 205: | - Mind Charm -> Mind Charm [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 205: | Argument and accusation quickly escalates -> Argument and accusation quickly escalate [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 207, 272: | quiver -> Quiver |
| (er) | 209: | potion of Fingloss -> Potion of Fingloss |
| (er) | 209, 253: | curing -> Curing [so: or, curing -> healing] [jb: I think "Curing" would work better in context: "Using your Magnakai Curing skills, you channel your innate healing powers...". Otherwise, you end up mentioning healing twice in the sentence.] |
| (er) | 212, 289: | the amulet -> the Black Amulet |
| (er) | 214: | - Invisible Shield - -> Invisible Shield [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 217: | go to 83. [SD: are we ok with “go to” vs “turn to”? First occurrence thus far in the book. For consistency’s sake, may want to change to “turn to”?] |
| (er) | 220, 276: | battle armour -> battle-armour |
| (er) | 220: | Drakkarim Assault Trooper -> Drakkarim assault-trooper [SD: not capitalized anywhere else in book. Does PA have a standard for this?] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 222: | [jb: It's possible to not have your Kai Weapon here? (cf. 49) So "If your Kai Weapon is ‘Alema’ or ‘Valiance’, you may add the appropriate bonus..." should probably start "If you carry the Kai Weapon 'Alema'...".] [so: Maybe "If you are wielding..."] |
| (er) | 223: | Move the Assimilance choice before the Kai-surge choice. Since you're not offered a choice of which skill to use, it would be preferable to have the reader use Assimilance since it avoids a combat. |
| (er) | 223, 300: | torch-lit -> torchlit |
| (er) | 223: | Assimilance and -> Assimilance, and |
| (er) | 228, 320: | If you possess Grand Huntmastery, add 1 … possess Assimilance, add 2. -> If you possess Assimilance, add 2 … possess Grand Huntmastery, add 1. [SD: for consistency with all other books, the discipline adding more to the random number total should come first in the sentence.] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 237: | three rounds, or less, -> three rounds or less, [SD: for consistency with previous LW books] |
| (er) | 237: | four rounds, or less -> four rounds or less, [SD: for consistency with previous LW books] |
| (er) | 244: | ability -> agility |
| (er) | 244: | stealth and agility enables -> stealth and agility enable |
| (er) | 250: | magical force and you shiver -> magical force, and you shiver [SD: text flows better this way, but not vital] |
| (er) | 255: | its psychic powers -> his psychic powers |
| (er) | 255: | it may launch -> he may launch |
| (er) | 258, 304: | duststorm -> dust storm [SD] |
| (er) | 260: | your senses yet you are -> your senses, yet you are |
| (er) | 261: | score is 0–6, turn to -> score is now 6 or lower, turn to [SD: for consistency with rest of book] |
| (er) | 265: | points that you lose (in the first round of combat only). [SD: remove brackets; not necessary] [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 269: | chest a -> chest, and a |
| (er) | 270, 291: | - Net - -> Net [also: spell (ne)] |
| (er) | 270: | right hand at large boulder -> right hand at a large boulder [SD] |
| (er) | 270: | —Levitation— -> <i>Levitation</i> |
| (er) | 270: | —Net— -> <i>Net</i> |
| (er) | 281: | you incompetent dolts!’ [NEW PARAGRAPH] Your bold and convincing threat [SD] |
| (er) | 282: | wind-swept -> windswept |
| (er) | 282: | south-westerly -> southwesterly |
| (er) | 282: | north-western -> northwestern |
| (er) | 282: | Durncrag mountains -> Durncrag Mountains |
| (er) | 282: | hiss and rumble of active volcanoes lends -> hiss and rumble of active volcanoes lend [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 291: | spell word -> spell-word |
| (er) | 296: | white hot -> white-hot |
| (er) | 304: | As slowly you -> As you slowly |
| (er) | 304: | you glimpse sight of -> you glimpse a sight of [SD: OR: you glimpse the sight of] [SO: you catch sight of] |
| (er) | 315: | patrol of sour-faced Drakkarim march -> patrol of sour-faced Drakkarim marches [jb: Debatable, but I'd agree. If ever a group acts like one entity, marching together would certainly qualify.] |
| (er) | 319: | Bow nor any -> Bow, or any [SD] |
| (er) | 320: | nadziranim -> Nadziranim [jb: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 323: | Urgaroh's -> The Urgaroh's |
| (er) | 324: | Angered, and in pain, this -> Angered and in pain this [jb: "Angered and in pain, this"] |
| (er) | 332: | battle shield -> battle-shield |
| (er) | 333: | Remove number 1 from singular weapons on this item list. [SD] |
| (er) | 337: | You draw back the rod and then -> You draw back the rod, and then [SD: to avoid a long sentence] [jb: "You draw back the rod, release your straining bowstring, and send it arcing down the stairwell towards the advancing enemy troops." Although does "it" refer to the rod or the bowstring? :) ] [bk: "You draw back the rod and then release your straining bowstring, sending it arcing down the stairwell towards the advancing enemy troops."] [tp: "You draw back the rod, and then release your straining bowstring to send it arcing down the stairwell towards the advancing enemy troops."] |
| (er) | 339: | in your Backpack adjust -> in your Backpack, adjust [SD] |
| (er) | 339: | lay slumped -> lie slumped |
| (er) | 350: | Kai lords -> Kai Lords |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | Kai Disciplines -> Grand Master Disciplines |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | Pick number from Random-> Pick a number from the Random |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | Turn to Combat -> Turn to the Combat |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | to random number -> to the random number |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | when ENDURANCE -> when the ENDURANCE |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | ignored, -> ignored; |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | This is when ENDURANCE points of either character fall to 0. -> This is when ENDURANCE points of either character falls to 0 or below. |
| (er) | 350 (Illustration XX Caption): | the Monastery -> the monastery |
| (er) | 350: | next exciting Lone Wolf adventure -> next exciting New Order adventure [SD: or words to that effect. Remember, we’re not LW any more!] [jb: Agreed.] [so: Let's standardise this to <cite>Lone Wolf New Order</cite> as per 21votm. This affects Books 22, 23, 25, 26, and 27] |
| Large Illustrations | ||
| I | 2 | 'Prepare to die, raven-bait!' spits the bandit, as he unsheathes his heavy blade. |
| II | 20 | You see two Drakkarim engrossed in a game of dice. |
| III | 34 | A colossal black spider emerges from its subterranean lair. |
| IV | 60 | You hold Lone Wolf's distinctive cloak brooch. |
| V | 70 | Frantically, Xaol the Necromancer snatches up his iron staff and leaps forward. |
| VI | 84 | The fearsome reptillian lashes out with its glowing rod. |
| VII | 90 | The monstrous creature shoots forth a terrible gout of flame. |
| VIII | 105 | You see the shadowy prison-sphere that holds Lone Wolf captive. |
| IX | 119 | The loathsome Kraan swoops down in a desperate, vengeful attack. |
| X | 150 | A Drakkar rider swoops down and hurls a smoking black orb. |
| XI | 180 | The assault trooper raises his jagged black sword in readiness to strike. |
| XII | 183 | The dusty skeletons come stiffy to life, their eye sockets glowing with a baleful blue light. |
| XIII | 196 | Zorkaan is ripped asunder by the power of the Sommerswerd. |
| XIV | 232 | From the depths of the fissure there emerges a host of giant black flies. |
| XV | 250 | Two nightmarish creatures creep forwards on clawed feet. |
| XVI | 264 | Suddenly a section of the glass wall explodes into a million razor shards. |
| XVII | 299 | A leathery ape-faced creature sucks gruel through its jagged fangs. |
| XVIII | 306 | You see skeletal remains hanging from manacles in the dimly-lit room. |
| XIX | 325 | Swirling black vapours ooze through the surface of the crystal sphere. |
| XX | 350 | Lord Rimoah emerges from the crowd to welcome your return to the Monastery. |
| Illustration Placements | ||
| small 1 | Wolfhound | [so: 91, 141, 200] [jb: Not 91, which is an Akataz] |
| small 2 | Mouldy skeleton | [so: 11, 204] |
| small 3 | Kraan Pipe | [so: 9, 259] |
| small 4 | Observatory | [so: 126, 160, 227, 315, 320, 323] |
| small 5 | Equipment (Quiver, Bow, etc.) | [so: 30] |
| small 6 | Spider & Sun Circle | [so: 120] |
| small 7 | Buried crown | [so: 51] |
| small 8 | Xaol | [so: 74] |
| small 9 | Drakkar equipment (helmet, serrated sword, etc.) | [so: 330, 333] |
| small 10 | Sealed jars | [so: 130, 234, 262] |
| small 11 | Black Amulet | [so: 109, 122] |
| small 12 | Fiery bomb | [so: 33, 121, 210, 236, 274] |
| Fixed (Not Errata) | ||
| (ne) | Title Page: | darklands -> Darklands [ik] |
| (ne) | Title Page: | succesfully -> successfully [ik] |
| (ne) | Title Page: | missionéor -> mission...or [ik] |
| (ne) | The Story So Far [x6]: | Cloud-dancer [itals] |
| (ne) | The Story So Far: | fêted [encode properly] |
| (ne) | The Story So Far [x2]: | . . . [encode as ellipsis] |
| (ne) | The Story So Far: | hiss movements -> his movements |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | mastered four of [four: itals] |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | one of the weapons [one: itals] |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | EQUIPMENT [link] |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | Shield / Power Word / Invisible Fist / Lightning Hand / Levitation / Mind Charm [spell] |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | Fire and -> Fire, and |
| (ne) | Disciplines: | The Fall of Blood Mountain [itals] |
| (ne) | Equipment: | map [link] |
| (ne) | Equipment: | Weapons List [link] |
| (ne) | Equipment: | carry is two [two: itals] |
| (ne) | Improved Disciplines: | Splinter / Flameshaft [spell] |
| (ne) | 1, 5, 39, 50, 110, 256, 282, 293, 348, 350: | Cloud-dancer [Itals] |
| (ne) | 1: | your see -> you see |
| (ne) | 4: | (in psychic shock) [itals] |
| (ne) | 8: | its blends -> it blends |
| (ft) | 11, 39, 219, 256, 293, 300, 348: | Standard puzzle footnote. |
| (ft) | 12: | This is the correct answer to the puzzle in Section 219. |
| (ft) | 20: | This is the correct answer to the puzzle in Sections 39, 256, 293, and 348. |
| (ne) | 20: | snick [onomatopoeia] |
| (ne) | 27, 338, 342: | click [onomatopoeia] |
| (ft) | 38: | This section is currently orphaned. [jb: Not much that we can do here except footnote it. Section 44 would have led here, but it already has a choice to use Magi-Magic which leads to 301 where you lose 4 EP instead of 2.] |
| (ne) | 70: | (with Serpent Rod) [itals] |
| (ne) | 71: | It you have a Bow -> If you have a Bow |
| (ft) | 79, 163, 234: | [lm: I assume that the jar counts as one item] [jb: It's impossible to say for sure. The only evidence that I see is that "doses" isn't capitalized. The only thing capitalized is Obhanthor.] |
| (ft) | 79, 163: | The Jar of Obhanthor takes up one slot in your Backpack. [jb: I think the reader should be able to use the potions that are tied to meals whenever they have a Meal (or could acquire one through Grand Huntmastery) and want to use the Meal and erase it from their Action Chart.] [so: (79) The Obhanthor takes up one Backpack slot. You may use it at any time during the game if you possess a Meal and wish to use it, or if one can be obtained by the use of Grand Huntmastery. (163) Each jar takes up one Backpack slot. You may use the Obhanthor at any time during the game if you possess a Meal and wish to use it, or if one can be obtained by the use of Grand Huntmastery.] |
| (ne) | 91: | illustration of wolfhound not appropriate for Akataz mentioned in this section |
| (ne) | 93, 218: | Clunk! [onomatopoeia] |
| (ne) | 101: | Threre -> There |
| (ft) | 105: | This is the correct answer to the puzzle in Sections 11 and 300. |
| (ne) | 106: | This pinpoint glow of this blood-red -> The pinpoint glow of this blood-red OR This pinpoint glow of blood-red [lm: cf.ref.75] [so: The latter.] |
| (ne) | 110: | seem to effect your leader -> seem to affect your leader |
| (ft) | 130: | The Jar of Tortwich takes up one slot in your Backpack. [so: The Tortwich takes up one Backpack slot.] |
| (ne) | 140: | gasp when disbelief -> gasp with disbelief |
| (ne) | 140, 172, 187, 222: | (possessed by Zorkaan) [itals] |
| (ne) | 152: | you heat them -> you hear them |
| (ne) | 155: | crust it in a vice-like grip -> crush it in a vice-like grip |
| (ne) | 159 [x2], 167 [x3], 168 [x3], 220 [x3], 224 [x3], 260 [x3], 319 [x3]: | and with to use it -> and wish to use it |
| (ft) | 163, 234: | Each jar/vial takes up only one slot in your Backpack. |
| (ne) | 164: | ENDRUANCE -> ENDURANCE |
| (ne) | 168: | comes swooping -> come swooping |
| (ne) | 178: | grasping hoarsely -> gasping hoarsely |
| (ne) | 183 [Cap]: | come stiffy to life -> come stiffly to life |
| (ne) | 186: | lashed once more the gritty wind -> lashed once more by the gritty wind |
| (ne) | 190, 347: | Gloar! [spell] |
| (ne) | 194: | the fissure, you immediately -> the fissure, and you immediately [so: should read 'On reaching the end of the fissure, you...'] |
| (ne) | 195: | clang [onomatopoeia] |
| (ne) | 217: | come of the end -> come to the end |
| (ft) | 234: | [In 234 there is a vial of Venell and a vial of Tortwich.] [so: Each vial takes up one Backpack slot. You may use the Venell at any time during the game if you possess a Meal and wish to use it, or if one can be obtained by the use of Grand Huntmastery. (cf. Footnotes in Sections 79 and 163.)] |
| (ne) | 275: | Magnaikai -> Magnakai |
| (ne) | 305: | [SD: Remove: text in square brackets] |
| (ne) | Errata: | Replaced each occurrence of ‘Plain of Dakness’ -> Replaced each occurrence of ‘Plain of Darkness’ |
| (ne) | 326: | your your -> your |
| (ne) | Errata: | and</quote>.Replaced -> and</quote>. Replaced |
| (ne) | Errata: | axe<quote>Alema -> axe <quote>Alema |
| (ne) | Errata: | boulder</quote>.Removed -> boulder</quote>. Removed | |
| Rejected | |||
| (er) | The Story So Far: | by which the Vorka horde were permitted -> by which the Vorka horde was permitted [jb: That could go either way. Which exists, the Vorka or the horde? I think leave as-is.] | |
| (ne) | Grand Master Disciplines: | [Use Magnakai heading illustrations from later books?] [jb: I checked, and I don't seem to have the headings (or even the background) for the Magnakai Disciplines.] | |
| (ft) | Rules For Combat: | It is not necessarily the case that the Grand Master will lose any EP during the combat. | |
| (er) | Rules For Combat: | Combat Record -> Combat Record [orig. is underlined] | |
| (er) | Improved Disciplines: | windows, etc., to shatter -> windows, etc. to shatter | |
| (er) | 11, 29, 232: | tracking -> Tracking | |
| (er) | 11, 39, 219, 256: | change “turn to the section of this book” to something reflecting online edition. [SD] [jb: I don't think this is necessary, and I don't remember changing this kind of language before. Otherwise, we'd have to change "turn to XXX" to "go to XXX" everywhere because there's no literal "turning" in an online edition.] | |
| (er) | 11 [x2]: | the whole wall to revolve on a central hinge [so: Should this be "pivot"?] [jb: Dictionary.com has one definition that seems to fit: "to turn around or rotate, as on an axis: The wheel revolves slowly."] | |
| (er) | 12, 105: | clicks [onomatopoeia] | |
| (er) | 13, 102: | 60 feet -> sixty feet | |
| (ft) | 35: | [Can you reclaim your Dargorse Buds?] [jb: No.] | |
| (er) | 39, 256, 293, 348: | 50 miles -> fifty miles | |
| (er) | 39, 256, 293, 300, 348: | [SD: Remove references to book and edit to reflect online edition.] [jb: I'm not sure what this is referring to, but something about 300 and 348 is odd. The riddle doesn't instruct the reader to turn to the section corresponding to their answer. Instead it says "If you think you know the solution to this question, that is the same as your answer." Granted we won't have many first time readers beginning at 25, but this seems pretty cryptic if you don't know the drill.] | |
| (er) | 42: | arrow -> Arrow [so: NO; the rod is not an actual Arrow, so we're not talking about an item being carried.] | |
| (er) | 44, 248: | draught -> draft | |
| (er) | 46, 254: | The volley of deadly bolts slams into the parapet and whistle -> The volley of deadly bolts slams into the parapet and whistles | |
| (er) | 46, 254: | The volley...slam -> The volley...slams | |
| (er) | 46, 254: | The volley of deadly bolts slam -> The volley of deadly bolts slams | |
| (er) | 48, 58, 299: | camouflage -> Camouflage | |
| (er) | 55: | 15 feet -> fifteen feet | |
| (er) | 57, 73, 89, 108, 111, 264, 318: | or less -> or lower | |
| (er) | 57, 89, 108, 111, 318: | or more -> or higher | |
| (er) | 61, 106, 129, 232, 251, 282: | petrified forest of Helkona -> petrified Forest of Helkona [jb: It is always referred to as the "forest of Helkona", so maybe the forest doesn't have a name: it's just the forest belonging to Helkona, like the hills of Tennessee or the beaches of the French Riviera?] [so: Helkona is Giak for "Black Forest". I don't know the Giak for gateau. I guess there's no need to capitalise "[F]orest of Helkona" any more than "Sierra Nevada [M]ountains".] | |
| (er) | 66, 339: | Lantern -> lantern [SO] [SD: Disagree, because the text stipulates that it is a usable Backpack Item] | |
| (er) | 72: | face-first [Is this OK?] [JB: Yes] | |
| (er) | 85: | fecal decay -> faecal decay [SD] [jb: We haven't been very strict in enforcing British spellings.] | |
| (er) | 91, 100, 270: | 10 feet -> ten feet | |
| (er) | 92: | thuds [onomatopoeia] | |
| (er) | 93: | Clunk! Carefully -> Clunk!. Carefully [SD: Not the onomatopoeia, but the positioning of the full stop after it.] [SO: Rejected. We have removed superfluous punctuation such as commas from onomatopoeia in other books (e.g. Clunk, -> Clunk!). | |
| (ft) | 93, 273: | Erase the Iron Key from your Action Chart. [jb: Unless there is a gameplay reason for this (neither key is used again in later books), I don't think it matters much either way. I think we can leave well enough alone.] | |
| (er) | 110, 200: | 50 feet -> fifty feet | |
| (er) | 120: | well guarded -> well-guarded [[SO: I think is is OK, actually. "The well-guarded gate" vs. "The gate is well guarded".] | |
| (er) | 123, 138: | healing -> Healing | |
| (er) | 137: | smashes into the parapet and whistle -> smashes into the parapet and whistles | |
| (er) | 137: | The volley...smash -> The volley...smashes | |
| (er) | 152: | mental command and lopes off -> mental command, and lopes off [SD: Inserting comma to partition a very long sentence] [SO: Unnecessary] | |
| (er) | 155: | polearm -> pole-arm | |
| (er) | 160, 315: | 100 yards -> one hundred yards | |
| (er) | 175: | end-over-end [SD: What to do about...? (Consistency vs section 104, 231, where it appears without the hyphens)] [SO: end-over-end is correct] | |
| (ft) | 176, 338: | Erase the Copper Key from your Action Chart. [jb: 176 specifically has you repocket the key. Unless there is a gameplay reason for this (neither key is used again in later books), I don't think it matters much either way. I think we can leave well enough alone.] | |
| (er) | 187: | thud [onomatopoeia] [SD: "Thud" probably not onomatopoeic, (at least, not in any of the previous books in the series... unless I've missed something)] | |
| (er) | 209, 253: | curing -> Curing | |
| (er) | 219: | What at first glance appears -> What, at first glance, appears [jb: I don't think the commas are necessary. The phrase is short enough that commas make the first part of the sentence choppy. Like Captian Kirk, of the U.S.S., Enterprise, would -- talk.] | |
| (er) | 230: | 10 yards -> ten yards [SD] | |
| (er) | 237: | or less -> or fewer | |
| (er) | 263: | 100 feet -> one hundred feet | |
| (er) | 272: | Grand Weaponmastery with Bow -> Grand Weaponmastery with a Bow [SD: OR: Grand Weaponmastery with Bows. But I would opt for the former] | |
| (er) | 277: | let fly -> let it fly [so: UK idiom] [jb: I don't know if it's an American idiom, but "let fly" is an idiom I'm familiar with and can be found in some dictionaries.] | |
| (er) | 282: | orangey light -> orange light [jc] [so: 'orangey' is a legitimate word.] | |
| (er) | 282: | Darklord fortress of Kaag -> Darkland fortress of Kaag [SD] [jb: Well, it was built by the Darklords.] | |
| (er) | 282: | Nadziranim sorcerers -> Nadziran sorcerers [cf. 18dotd Section 164 Errata] [jb: Agreed.] | |
| (er) | 293: | With weapon poised, -> With your weapon poised, [SD: OR: Weapon poised,] [jb: It sounds OK to me.] | |
| (er) | 299: | 20 feet -> twenty feet | |
| (er) | 305: | If you possess an Iron Key, [and wish to use it,] turn to 93. -> If you possess an Iron Key, turn to 93. [SD: OR: change second option to: If you do not possess this Backpack Item, turn to 203. -> If you do not possess this Backpack Item, or choose not to use it, turn to 203. [However, it is rare for GM to be offered the option of not using items. SD: "I prefer the former."] [SO: The latter is more consistent with the books.] | |
| (er) | 307: | from coma -> from his coma [jb: I've seen it use it that way, like you could say "he is emerging from sleep".] | |
| (er) | 315: | dirty grey -> dirty, grey [jb: Maybe the water is a dirty grey. :) In any case, color adjectives aren't usually separated by commas, and in this particular case, it doesn't change the meaning much, does it?] | |
| (er) | 320: | grim grey vista -> grim, grey vista [jb: See note on 315 about "dirty grey".] | |
| (er) | 341: | thin velvet -> thin, velvet [jb: Agreed.] [bk: Here "thin" and "velvet" aren't coordinate adjectives. For instance, saying "velvet, thin tapestry" doesn't sound right to me nor does "thin and velvet tapestry".] | |