3: The Omega Zone
| Pending |
| Small Illustrations | ||
| Small 1: | Sun over Pine-forest Mountains | [SO: 169, 189] |
| Small 2: | Moon over collapsed bridge | [SO: 110? 202] |
| Small 3: | Highway leading into Mountain pass | [SO: 80, 326?] |
| Small 4: | Drive Friendly sign | [SO: 80?] |
| Small 5: | Target-sight looking at jeep | [SO: 309] |
| Small 6: | Empty gas cannister | [SO: 75? 108, 178?] |
| Small 7: | 2 Bikers | [SO: 74? 86? 309? 317?] |
| Small 8: | Mad Dog's car | [SO: 274] |
| Small 9: | Wagon | [SO: 128?] |
| Small 10: | Texas CALDC1 number plate | [SO: 119?] |
| Small 11: | Leather Mask, Gloves, Chain | [SO: 227] |
| Fixed (Errata) | ||
| (er) | Many: | on to -> onto (REJECTED: 86, 187 [hang on to]; 129 [opens on to]; 55, 117, 345 [back on to (i.e. abut)]; 135, 209 [and on to your rendezvous]) (FIXED: 176 [climb onto]; 157, 170, 213, 223, 296 [leap onto]; 37 [it onto]; 25, 161, 274, 281, 314 [back onto]; 25, 143, 293, 330 [accelerate (away) onto]; 106 [directly onto]; 156 [manhandle...onto]; 230 [drives onto]; 41 [bring the roadster back on to a straight course]) |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction [x2]: | USSR and -> USSR, and |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | cable and -> cable, and |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | Hijack, Assassination and Violent Opposition Consortium. -> Hijack, Assassination, and Violent Opposition Consortium. [LM] |
| (er) | Dateline To Destruction: | destined to be neutralized and dismantled -> slated to be neutralized and dismantled [LM: It wasn't their destiny if they were stolen] |
| (er) | Dateline To Destruction: | declare emergency -> declare an emergency [LM] |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | HAVOC attempt -> HAVOC attempts [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | HAVOC hijack a WDL news satellite and broadcast a chilling ultimatum -> HAVOC hijacks a WDL news satellite and broadcasts a chilling ultimatum [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | HAVOC refuse -> HAVOC refuses [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | HAVOC repeat their demand and extend deadline -> HAVOC repeats its demand and extends deadline [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Dateline to Destruction: | HAVOC enact their -> HAVOC enacts its [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Equipment: | a Backpack, and a -> a Backpack and a [bk: Accept.] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | half-way -> halfway [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | 2012, that -> 2012 that |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | faced--or perhaps because of them--you -> faced, or perhaps because of them, you |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | adventure you -> adventure, you |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | on to -> onto |
| (er) | Survival Skills: | motocycles and -> motorcycles, and |
| (er) | Survival Skills: | shotguns and -> shotguns, and |
| (er) | Survival Skills: | reflexes and -> reflexes, and |
| (er) | Survival Skills: | education and -> education, and |
| (er) | Survival Skills: | tested, therefore -> tested; therefore [LM] |
| (er) | Equipment: | Canteen and -> Canteen, and |
| (er) | Equipment: | radioactivity) and -> radioactivity), and |
| (er) | Equipment: | on which hangs -> on which hang [bk: Accept.] [so: Fixed in Books 1-4.] |
| (er) | Equipment: | ten items) your -> ten items), your. [bk] [so: Fixed in all 4 books.] |
| (er) | Rules For Close Combat: | This procedure continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Cal Phoenix are reduced to zero, at which point the one whose score is zero is declared dead. If Cal Phoenix is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Cal Phoenix proceeds but with a reduced ENDURANCE point score. -> This procedure continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Cal Phoenix are reduced to zero or below, at which point that combatant is declared dead. If Cal Phoenix is dead, the adventure is over. If the enemy is dead, Cal Phoenix proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points possibly reduced. |
| (er) | 1: | make you way -> make your way |
| (er) | 1: | she says, ‘I dearly -> she says. ‘I dearly |
| (er) | 4: | and then through the banisters at the entrance and lobby below: all are empty.[lm: You are on the ground floor per this path] |
| (er) | 4: | The passage leads to a staircase, at the bottom of which is a fire exit. -> The passage leads to a fire exit. [lm: cf.ref31] [jb: This change has already been made. Agreed.] |
| (er) | 13: | If the fight lasts five rounds or more, -> If you win and the fight lasts five rounds or more, |
| (er) | 21, 87: | overtake him on the left -> overtake him on the right [lm: because he just hit the crash barrier and some other sections confirm that you must be driving in the right-hand carriageway] [jb: Agreed. While there's no particular reason that they would be obeying U.S. rules of the road after the apocalypse, sections 231 and 260 both have Cal passing on the right after Mad Dog collides with the crash barrier. Sections 21 and 87 specify that it is the "central" crash barrier. If for no other reason than to give this American flavor, it makes the most sense to have Cal overtake him on the right.] |
| (er) | 22, 335: | reply; 'bruised -> reply. 'Bruised |
| (er) | 25, 143, 183, 226, 293, 330: | bang -> <i>bang</i> [so: 3 instances of <onomatopoeia>bang</onomatopoeia> occur in 15tdc; no other instances are italicised. Affects a number of other books.] [jb: Bang can definitely be an onomatopoeia. It's one of the most cited examples. I think it works here] |
| (er) | 29, 153, 166: | half-way -> halfway [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | 29, 131: | equipment then -> equipment and then |
| (er) | 30: | despatched -> dispatched [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | 32, 46 [x2], 196, 222, 266, 287, 316: | spyhole -> spy-hole |
| (er) | 36, 71, 125, 148, 171: | breach -> breech |
| (er) | 37: | Look's like -> Looks like [tp] |
| (er) | 37: | OK men -> OK, men |
| (er) | 37: | Frankland; 'we -> Frankland. 'We |
| (er) | 42, 157, 213, 296: | shockwave -> shock wave |
| (er) | 42: | The colony have begun the break-out! -> The colony has begun the break-out! [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [bk: Given the singular vs. plural tally for "colony", I vote for making all the uses singular there, even though some of them violate our rules.] |
| (er) | 43, 135, 175, 209: | much-needed -> much needed [IK: as per PAMoS] |
| (er) | 44: | OK then, let's go -> OK then. Let's go [lm: cf. refs. 294, 104, 93] |
| (er) | 44: | ‘Ready?’ Marine Knott nods his head, his jaw taut with concentration as he acknowledges your question. [lm: Should be a paragraph break after 'ready'] [JDu: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 44, 190: | Freeway 54 -> Highway 54 [BK: Or, 'the Highway 54 freeway'] [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | 46: | dimly-lit -> dimly lit |
| (er) | 53: | despatch -> dispatch [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | 54, 59, 80, 100, 145: | Backpack item -> Backpack Item |
| (er) | 57: | you mission -> your mission |
| (er) | 63: | vice-grip -> vicelike grip |
| (er) | 67, 131: | that understood?’ Sergeant Haskell [lm: paragraph break] [JDu: Agreed.] |
| (er) | 88: | if the fight lasts six rounds or more, turn to 11. -> if the fight lasts to a sixth round, turn immediately to 11. |
| (er) | 89, 234, 265: | machine pistol; the other -> machine pistol, the other |
| (er) | 93: | You are about to break into a run ... & following [lm: This account of regrouping with Marine Knott is copied from parallel sections, but this particular refernce can only be reached from ref.234 in which you do not seperate from Marine Knott.] [jb: Yeah, that passage makes no sense in context. I suggest we remove most of the following... You are about to break into a run when suddenly you hear a noise behind you that makes you freeze: it is the sound of a pistol being cocked. Instinctively you reach for your gun as you spin around to face your potential attacker, but your fear quickly evaporates when you see the familiar face of Marine Knott peering at you from over the walkway wall. 'You're getting a touch careless, Cal,' he says, as he holsters his pistol and clambers over the wall to join you. 'Yeah, you're right,' you reply, self-consciously. 'I oughta know by now. Better late than dead, right?' 'Right,' he says, and slaps you reassuringly on the back. 'The bridge is over there. It'll only take a few minutes to reach it. If all's well, the captain and Sergeant Haskell should be there already waitin' for us.' ... and change it to this: 'The bridge is over there,' Marine Knott says. 'It'll only take a few minutes to reach it. If all's well, the captain and Sergeant Haskell should be there already waitin' for us.'] |
| (er) | 103: | the Swisshelm Mountain -> the Swisshelm Mountains |
| (er) | 123: | rockface -> rock-face |
| (er) | 124: | the team are -> the team is [so: Prefer: "As the team prepares"] |
| (er) | 131: | sergeant, I'll -> sergeant. I'll |
| (er) | 133: | you Shooting skill -> your Shooting skill |
| (er) | 135, 209: | west in the direction of Ciudad Juarez -> east in the direction of Ciudad Juarez |
| (er) | 142: | despatched -> dispatched [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | 144, 215: | What the... -> What the...? |
| (er) | 150, 227, 258, 336: | blood-stained -> bloodstained |
| (er) | 150: | HAVOC were -> HAVOC was [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [bk: Given the singular vs. plural tally for "colony", I vote for making all the uses singular there, even though some of them violate our rules.] |
| (er) | 150: | eight -> seven [bk: Cal was born on Thanksgiving, which is in November, so he wouldn't've celebrated his 8th birthday by May] |
| (er) | 153: | It it is -> If it is |
| (er) | 162: | If the fight lasts five rounds or more, -> If you win and the fight lasts five rounds or more, |
| (er) | 165: | door on the opposite side of the window -> door on the opposite side of the corridor [lm: cf. ref. 145] |
| (er) | 165: | counter pane -> counterpane [lm: cf. ref. 243] |
| (er) | 165, 243: | a handful of faded family photographs stands -> a handful of faded family photographs stand [tp: Agreed <collective> of <plural> = plural (e.g. "a volley of arrows come")] |
| (er) | 168: | thing you are aware of are -> thing you are aware of is [bk: Tentative accept. I think "thing" is more of the subject than "the bars", but it sounds a bit awkward either way.] |
| (er) | 172: | much-practised -> much practised [ik: as in the PAMoS] |
| (er) | 178: | the jeep suddenly you -> the jeep, suddenly you |
| (er) | 182: | manically -> maniacally |
| (er) | 189: | pineclad -> pine-clad |
| (er) | 200: | OK Jack, I got -> OK, Jack. I got |
| (er) | 208: | retrieve your Backpack -> retrieve your Backpack and belt [cf. refs 284,306] |
| (er) | 258: | gasolene filter pipe -> gasolene filler pipe [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | 259: | torchbeam -> torch's beam [or, torch-beam] [irs: went for torch's beam] |
| (er) | 265: | alerting its handler -> alerting his handler [lm: reflecting 'He' at beginning of sentence] [tp: Yep -- that or change "He" in this sentence and "his" in the last.] [bk: Accept.] |
| (er) | 270: | spit a core of yellow flame -> spit a cone of yellow flame [jb: Agreed] |
| (er) | 273: | f' sure -> f'sure |
| (er) | 284: | backpack -> Backpack [cf. ref. 208] |
| (er) | 291: | total scores -> total score |
| (er) | 300: | Cochise county -> Cochise County |
| (er) | 305: | clunk -> <i>clunk</i> |
| (er) | 308: | you life -> your life |
| (er) | 312: | to barge the -> to barge into the [so: "barge -> barge into" as per 25totw 16 and 303 errata.] |
| (er) | 315: | If the fight lasts five rounds or more, -> If you win and the fight lasts five rounds or more, |
| (er) | 334: | drawbolt -> bolt |
| (er) | 336: | killed.' says -> killed,' says |
| (er) | 340: | Note. If -> Note: If |
| (er) | 345: | (erase from -> (Erase from [so: and fire). -> fire.)] |
| (er) | 346: | you stagger along the corridor until you come to a flight of stairs that descends to a fire exit -> you stagger along the corridor until you come to a fire exit [lm: cf.ref31; You are on the ground floor per this path] |
| (er) | 350: | question, and the final part of your exodus to California, -> question and the final part of your exodus to California [so: "question--and the final part of your exodus to California--"] |
| (er) | 350: | The colony are overjoyed -> The colony is overjoyed [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [bk: Given the singular vs. plural tally for "colony", I vote for making all the uses singular there, even though some of them violate our rules.] |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | or below, this is -> or below; this is |
| Fixed (Not Errata) | ||
| (ne) | Title: | Tuscon -> Tucson |
| (ne) | Title: | Finalise text for Brian Williams fw.inc file [Brian Williams was first noticed by Joe Dever for his work in White Dwarf magazine (circa issue 50) and the Real Life Gamebooks series by Jon Sutherland and Simon Farrell. Brian Williams was Joe's first choice of illustrators to replace Gary Chalk on the Lone Wolf series. Brian also illustrated three of the four books in Joe Dever's Freeway Warrior series.] |
| (ne) | Rules For Close Combat: | CLOSE COMBAT SKILL [encode as attribute] |
| (ne) | Rules For Close Combat: | [LM: link from <close combat> leads to <numbered sections> not section 1] |
| (ne) | 8: | Swissheim Mountains -> Swisshelm Mountains |
| (ne) | 11: | to took for -> to look for |
| (ne) | 88: | if the fight -> If the fight |
| (ne) | 100, 250: | cafe -> café |
| (ne) | 119: | en route [foreign] |
| (ne) | 136: | [so: choice 1 should link to Section 235 (link broken)] |
| (ne) | 137: | Medi- kit -> Medi-kit |
| (ne) | 140: | bolstered -> holstered |
| (ne) | 163: | 98 -> 98. |
| (ne) | 171: | [so: choice 2 should link to Section 304 (link broken)] |
| (ne) | 171: | close- fitting -> close-fitting |
| (ne) | 193: | stews -> slews |
| (ne) | 252: | roadsters -> roadster's |
| (ne) | 277: | [so: Remove superfluous links to sections 99 and 296] |
| (ne) | 278: | [so: choice 1 should link to Section 99 (link broken)] |
| (ne) | 278: | [so: choice 2 should link to Section 296 (link broken)] |
| (ne) | 283: | if you area -> if you are |
| (ne) | 295: | If Your ENDURANCE -> If your ENDURANCE |
| (ne) | 338: | if you -> If you |
| (ne) | 340: | Your ENDURANCE -> your ENDURANCE |
| (ne) | 341: | is pistol -> his pistol |
| (ft) | Footnotes: | (cf. Section 333).-> (cf. Section 333 of Highway Holocaust). |
| (ne) | Illustrations: | Illustration XII (Section 224) -> (no illustration in section 224) |
| Rejected | ||
| (er) | Dedication: | Ca. -> CA or Calif. [BK] [jb: It looks strange to me too, but as this is the dedication, I suggest we leave it as-is because this is basically the author's personal note to the folks to whom the book is dedicated.] |
| (er) | Dedication: | Tx. -> TX or Tex. [BK: While the abbreviations Joe uses are listed in the "Other" column at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_abbreviations any abbreviations outside the ANSI/USPS and AP columns look very strange to American eyes.] [jb: It looks strange to me too, but as this is the dedication, I suggest we leave it as-is because this is basically the author's personal note to the folks to whom the book is dedicated.] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | tortuous stretch of mountain highway -> torturous stretch of mountain highway [lm: can a freeway be tortuous?] |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | your family were -> your family was [bk: Reject. Use of "them" in following sentence.] |
| (er) | Equipment: | This comprises -> [lm: what was decided about this?] [so: This seems OK to me. "Comprise" means '1. to include or contain: The Soviet Union comprised several socialist republics.'; or '2. to consist of; be composed of: The advisory board comprises six members.' <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/comprises>. Either of these meanings squares with the structure of this sentence.] |
| (er) | Equipment: | 2 points; and if -> 2 points, and if [so: Separate, though related, clauses.] |
| (er) | 17: | forward -> forwards [lm: as elsewhere] [bk: Reject. Joe seems to use the two interchangeably but with a preference for "forward".] |
| (er) | 44: | first goal: an elevated -> first goal, an elevated [so: A colon is more appropriate here than a comma.] |
| (er) | 54: | Dammit -> Damnit [so: Nope, "dammit" is the correct contracted spelling: <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dammit>.] |
| (er) | 61, 98, 111, 132, 212, 241, 304: | of them? -> of them. [so: See <http://www.englishpractice.com/grammar/correct-surely/>: "Note that sentences with surely often have question marks....When used with heavy stress, surely suggests that the speaker would like to believe something, but is beginning to lose hope." |
| (er) | 74, 317: | the parapet; but the -> the parapet, but the [so: Semi-colons can be used to separate items in a list for clarity.] |
| (er) | 77: | whoever -> whomever [tp: Agreed] [bk: Reject. "Whoever" is the subject of "is hiding" (even though it's also the indirect object of "calls out").] |
| (er) | 102: | to DC1, Phoenix -> to DC1: Phoenix |
| (er) | 102: | colony were -> colony was [bk: Subjunctive mode; should be "colony were".] |
| (er) | 144, 215, 342: | … -> . . . |
| (er) | 151: | a group of clansmen turn the corner and come running towards you -> a group of clansmen turns the corner and comes running towards you [tp: Reject <collective> of <plural> = plural (e.g. "a volley of arrows come")] |
| (er) | 157, 213, 296: | starts the engine first time [so: This is correct.] |
| (er) | 164: | OK, let's [so: This is OK!] |
| (er) | 170, 223: | The engine starts first time -> [lm: is this right] [so: Possibly idiomatic, but this is quite correct.] |
| (er) | 217, 292: | and help the sergeant search the Mavericks' bodies [lm: list of items found cf. refs. 82,320] [jb: Leave as-is. There are possible in-game reasons that these sections don't reward Cal with items. You reach Section 217 by taking longer than four rounds to kill the clansman in section 176. You reach section 292 by not volunteering for the ambush in the first place. So it makes sense.] |
| (er) | 233: | visi-cassettes -> vidi-cassettes [jb: As a completely made-up futuristic technology, I don't see how its name can be wrong. Leave as-is.] |
| (er) | 248: | Add together your Shooting Skill total and your current ENDURANCE points score. [lm: also 133, 278, 339. I don't know if this is wrong, but it seems odd to only need a score of 7 to pass this check] [jb: It does seem quite low, but we can't really second guess this game mechanic choice. What would we change it to?] |
| (er) | 250: | Center -> Centre [so: Reject because it is a Named Place.] |
| (er) | 264: | They're here, I know -> They're here. I know [so: Comma is OK here.] |
| (er) | 275: | unbeknown -> unbeknownst |
| (er) | 276: | 1 a.m. -> 1 am [jb: Leave as-is. The abbreviation "a.m." is pretty standard. FWIW, if we went with "am", I'd vote for setting it in small caps as "AM", but there's nothing wrong with "a.m.".] |
| (er) | 294: | A cluster of old US immigration offices standing at the approach to the bridge provide -> A cluster of old US immigration offices standing at the approach to the bridge provides [bk: Reject. <collective> of <plural>] |
| (er) | 302: | listen -> listens [bk: Reject. <collective> of <plural> and use of "they"] |
| (er) | 302: | HAVOC was -> HAVOC were [jd: It's my opinion that these should all be singular.] [bk: Given the singular vs. plural tally for "colony", I vote for making all the uses singular there, even though some of them violate our rules.] |
| (er) | 312: | force and surprise of your attack sends -> force and surprise of your attack send [bk: This is a bit tricky, but I'd say reject. "Force" and "surprise" are abstract concepts, and it's really the attack that sends him flying.] |
| (er) | 314: | air filter, ‘but we'll -> air filter. ‘but we'll [so: No. A period should never be followed by a lower-case letter, so the comma is correct here.] |
| (er) | 319: | unshaven chin; then calls -> unshaven chin, then calls [so: chin, and then] |
| (er) | 324: | Hold it, you'd -> Hold it. You'd [so: No, this is fine.] |
| (er) | 334: | the first; and the -> the first, and the [so: No, semi-colons can be used to delineate separate items in a list for clarity.] |
| (er) | 336: | roadmasters -> road masters [or, simply delete 'roadmasters'] [jb: Can't think of a reason that "roadmasters" would be wrong. Leave as-is.] |
| (er) | 350: | that now -> now that [so: No, the original makes sense, but the proposal makes it incorrect.] |
| (ne) | Illustration 18: | wedge formation, they come -> wedge formation; they come [so: No, the caption should read: 'Their machines drawn up in a perfect wedge formation, they come speeding towards your jeep.'] |