1: Grey Star the Wizard
| Pending | ||
| Not Errata |
| Fixed (Errata) | ||
| jail/jailer -> gaol/gaoler | ||
| (er) | The Coming of Grey Star: | web of enchantments, magical mists and mage winds [lm: Either "web of enchantments, magical mists, and mage winds" or "web of enchantments, magical mists and mage winds", depending on whether it's a series or an appositive] |
| (er) | The Coming of Grey Star: | nameless mountains, untamed forests and lands -> nameless mountains, untamed forests, and lands [LM] |
| (er) | The Coming of Grey Star: | new found -> newfound |
| (er) | The Coming of Grey Star: | the Earth -> Magnamund [so: this has already been partially corrected to "the Magnamund", but the superfluous definite article should be removed.] |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | If at any time your ENDURANCE score falls to zero, you -> If at any time your ENDURANCE score falls to zero or below, you |
| (er) | Powers: | are, is -> are is |
| (er) | Rules for Combat: | This process of combat continues until ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero, ... If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE and WILLPOWER points reduced. -> This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero or below, ... If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE and WILLPOWER points possibly reduced. |
| (er) | Rules for Combat: | at which point the one with the zero score is declared dead. -> at which point that combatant is declared dead. |
| (er) | Rules for Combat: | You now have the number of ENDURANCE points lost by Grey Star. To calculate the number lost by the enemy, multiply this by the number of WILLPOWER points that Grey Star elected to use. Now you have the final number of ENDURANCE points lost by both Grey Star and his enemy in this round of combat. (E represents points lost by the enemy; GS represents points lost by Grey Star.) -> GS represents the number of ENDURANCE points lost by Grey Star. To calculate the number lost by the enemy, multiply the number marked 'E' by the number of WILLPOWER points that Grey Star elected to use. Now you have the final number of ENDURANCE points lost by both Grey Star and his enemy in this round of combat. [LM: I thought former wording is possibly unclear--it sounds like the enemy always loses 3x as much as Grey Star] [JB: "...multiply this by..." -> "...multiply the number listed for the enemy by..."] |
| (er) | Sage Advice: | A score of zero WILLPOWER points -> A WILLPOWER score of zero or below |
| (er) | Sage Advice: | at all, so be -> at all; so be [LM] |
| (er) | 1: | the Kundi race that are called -> the Kundi race that is called |
| (er) | 4, 31, 44, 73, 148, 176, 215, 255, 276, 280, 287, 295, 340: | on to -> onto (REJECTED: 195, 249 [opens on to]; 219, [moves on to]) (FIXED: 287, 340 [jump onto]; 73, 176, 280 [step onto]; 4 [vault onto]; 31 [smashes onto]; 44 [falls onto]; 148 [heaves itself onto]; 215 [wagon onto]; 255 [turns over onto]; 276 [throw herself onto]; 295 [slump forwards onto]) |
| (er) | 17: | head first -> head-first |
| (er) | 18: | leadership; a -> leadership: a [LM] |
| (er) | 21: | camp fire -> campfire |
| (er) | 35: | A cool breeze is coming from it, and freshens -> A cool breeze is coming from it, freshening |
| (er) | 53: | who he then forces -> whom he then forces [LM] [JB: Fix] |
| (er) | 56: | The noise and confusion about you makes -> The noise and confusion about you make [LM] [JB: Fix] |
| (er) | 66: | their mercy; a quality -> their mercy: a quality [LM] |
| (er) | 68: | You came across -> You come across [LM] |
| (er) | 74: | Shan, its easy -> Shan; it's easy [LM] |
| (er) | 74: | says, weakly; 'I'll never -> says, weakly. 'I'll never [LM] |
| (er) | 86: | You repeat your prophecy to Shan, and taking his arm, you -> You take Shan's arm and [Zipp: Imagine my confusion when I got here without the use of the prophecy skill and found that I had disclosed (apparently) a prophecy to Shan! I think this is a writer's error. You can follow the various paths here from section 136.] [jb: You repeat your prophecy to Shan, and taking his arm, you break into a trot, -> Taking Shan's arm, you break into a trot,] |
| (er) | 88: | arches -> arcs |
| (er) | 110: | no longer lost. -> no longer lost, [LM] |
| (er) | 127: | excited mob roar their approval -> excited mob roars its approval [LM] |
| (er) | 131: | Shadakine empire -> Shadakine Empire |
| (er) | 133: | Cut-Throat -> Cut-throat |
| (er) | 150: | If your WILLPOWER total has now fallen to zero or lower -> If your WILLPOWER total has now fallen to zero or below |
| (er) | 165: | zero or less -> zero or below |
| (er) | 181, 202, 271: | elemental plane -> Elemental Plane |
| (er) | 187: | A tortuous scream -> A tortured scream [LM] |
| (er) | 189: | can not -> cannot |
| (er) | 238: | then another, then Shan -> then another; then Shan [LM] |
| (er) | 260: | The fearful creature [lm: technically correct, but I wonder if it ought not be 'fearsome creature'] |
| (er) | 272: | pell mell -> pell-mell |
| (er) | 289: | There is no option for exactly 15 WILLPOWER. [TW] [SO: more than 15 -> 15 or more] |
| (er) | 294: | There is no option for exactly 10 ENDURANCE. [TW] [SO: greater than 10 -> 10 or more] |
| Fixed (Not Errata) | |||
| (ne) | The Game Rules, Footnotes [x2]: | score falls to zero, you -> score falls to zero or below, you | |
| (ne) | Equipment: | Wizard's Staff--Carried -> Wizard's Staff--carried (all others in list are lower case) [LM] | |
| (ne) | 41: | At the far tend -> At the far end [LM] | |
| (ne) | 42: | futile battle; for the -> futile battle, for the [LM] | |
| (ne) | 77: | 'Beware,' Warns Shan -> 'Beware,' warns Shan [LM] | |
| (ft) | 86: | You repeat your prophecy to Shan [lm: you didn't necessarily use Prophecy] [It is possible to arrive here without having used the Power of Prophecy.] | |
| (ne) | 87: | 125 -> 125. | |
| (ne) | 131: | fuming -> turning [as reported by Kayvohn via the Contact Portal] | |
| (ne) | 215: | fair north -> far north [LM] | |
| (ne) | 230: | Realization of your terrible plight come -> Realization of your terrible plight comes [LM] | |
| (ne) | 264: | [so: Can we improve this puzzle for partially-sighted readers] | |
| (ne) | Footnotes: | The bonus to your WILLPOWER score provided by the Magic Talisman is added to your WILLPOWER score only once and does not prevent your score from falling to zero. -> The bonus to your WILLPOWER score provided by the Magic Talisman is added to your WILLPOWER score only once and does not prevent your score from falling to zero or below. | |
| (ne) | Footnote (Section 15): | your current ENDURANCE and WILLPOWER scores by 1.5. I.e. you may add...score, -> your current ENDURANCE and WILLPOWER scores by 1.5 (i.e. you may add...score), | |
| (ne) | Footnote (Section 193): | but make a note that you instead are now wearing the ointment -> but make a note that you are now wearing the ointment instead | |
| (ne) | Footnote (Section 259): | your opponents loss of ENDURANCE -> your opponent's loss of ENDURANCE | |
| (ne) | Footnote #31: | as your COMBAT SKILL for this combat. -> as your COMBAT SKILL for this combat? [LM] | |
| (ne) | Footnote #31: | to us it -> to use it [LM] | |
| (ne) | Errata: | new found with new-found -> new found with newfound | |
| (ne) | Errata: | both Items -> both items | |
| Rejected | ||
| (er) | Title: | the hero, you make -> the hero; you make [LM] |
| (er) | Title: | Inspired and encouraged by his success at Origins [lm: what is origins?] |
| (er) | Powers: | difficult actions; to discover -> difficult actions, to discover [LM] |
| (er) | Powers: | your quest, so choose -> your quest; so choose [lm: in this case 'so' is an adverb not a conjunction] |
| (er) | Powers: | another's mind or cause them -> another's mind or cause him [lm: or "others' minds or cause them"] [JB: The use of the third person plural pronoun as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is controversial but increasingly accepted.] |
| (er) | 68: | recognize -> recognise [LM] [so: 'recognize' is the typical spelling in the Lone Wolf series.] |
| (er) | 149: | See http://projectaon.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=gotopost&board=general&thread=1999&post=34881(approve sites) [tw: I guess I just don't agree with luposolitario's take on it - why "You must fight the Kleasá to the death" if it's not a normal fight?] |
| (er) | 202: | I thank thee, powers of the air -> I thank you, powers of the air [lm: thee is singular only] [jb: That's a tough choice. While used incorrectly here, "thee/thou/thine" is now used to connote religious devotional speech. Since we live in a predominately monotheistic culture, we seem to lack equivalent pronouns to express devotion to a plurality of beings. Even though it loses some flavor, I agree that we should change it.] [dd: I would strongly suspect that Joe Dever is using "thee" here out of familiarity with the language used in the King James bible (which is the tail end of Middle English). As you note, strictly speaking this is wrong, because "thee" is 2nd person accusative *singular*. However https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Thee and https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Ye_%28pronoun%29 explains that the Old English 2nd person plural is *ye*. I would therefore urge us, if we must change it, to change it to "I thank ye, powers of the air", which not only is grammatically correct, but also maintains the flavour-of-the-text that Joe no doubt intended.] [jb: The word "ye" is the nominative form. The archaic forms are "ye / you / your" which correspond to "thee / thou / thy/thine". The "ye" form has occasionally been used in the objective sense, but the most correct usage here is the standard objective form "you". If we're going to correct something, we should probably avoid replacing it with something questionable. ] [dd: think Joe (or actually Ian Page) was trying to mimic the KJV English by using "thee". We're verging on hypercorrection if we change it to "you", because we completely destroy the religious flavour, and moreover Grey Star is a wet-behind-the-ears 16-year-old Shianti neophyte n00b who Ian Page (a cockney) is translating out of, erm, Suhnese or something. Which is supposed to be quasi-Chinese. So not only are we needing to convey religious flavour, we need to convey Grey Star's rather gauche and naive ersonality - neither of which are well-served by changing it to "you". In fact I am prepared to put money on it that if a proof-reader had told Ian Page in 1986 that "thee" was wrong, he'd press for keeping it like that anyways, cos that's the effect the wanted.] [cn: Although fascinating whether or not the grammar is correct, its in a spoken passage; it doesnt have to conform to correct grammar. i think you would lose the character by going from thee -> you. my vote: leave it alone.] [jb: You all (Ye?) have persuaded me. The fact that it's in spoken dialogue means that we really don't need to make it perfectly grammatical. Let's leave it as-is.] |
| (er) | 259: | the aura and spirit of this awful place overwhelms -> the aura and spirit of this awful place overwhelm [LM] |
| (er) | 291: | items -> Items [LM] [SO: No, we altered from the original.] |
| (er) | 322: | The swarm of raging worker Mantiz are -> The swarm of raging worker Mantiz is [LM] |
| (er) | 324: | A group of Shadakine warriors pour out of the doorway and bear -> A group of Shadakine warriors pours out of the doorway and bears [LM] [tp: Reject <collective> of <plural> = plural (e.g. "a volley of arrows come") ] [bk: Agreed.] |