05: Shadow on the Sand
| Pending | ||
| (er) | 256: | If you wish to ask her if she is Soushilla, turn to 307 -> If you wish to ask her if she is Soushilla (only if you have heard that name before), turn to 307 [so: in harmony with parallel Section 397.] [jb: Agreed] |
| (Not Errata) | ||
| Fixed | |||
| (er) | Many: | bang [so: Encode as onomatopoeia. Affects 05sots 210, 354, 371; 07cd 218; 08tjoh 200, 295; 12tmod 285; 13tplor 217, 330; 16tlov 316; 21votm 273; 27v 190, 279, 307] | |
| (er) | Many: | [All occurrences (or just some?) of on to -> onto] | |
| (er) | The Story So Far: | Maaken range -> Maaken Range | |
| (er) | The Story So Far, Equipment | Kai monastery -> Kai Monastery | |
| (er) | The Game Rules: | ENDURANCE points fall to zero -> ENDURANCE points fall to zero or below | |
| (er) | Equipment: | also they cannot -> neither can they | |
| (er) | Equipment: | slung over shoulder -> slung over the shoulder | |
| (er) | Rules for Combat: | This process of combat continues until ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero, ... If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points reduced. -> This process of combat continues until the ENDURANCE points of either the enemy or Lone Wolf are reduced to zero or below, ... If the enemy is dead, Lone Wolf proceeds but with his ENDURANCE points possibly reduced. | |
| (er) | Rules for Combat: | at which point the one with the zero score is declared dead. -> at which point that combatant is declared dead. | |
| (er) | 2: | [TW: The Gold Chain and Key are not items you can keep, so they should not be capitalized!] | |
| (er) | 2: | If you wish to keep the Potion, mark it... -> If you wish to keep the Herb, mark it... [jc: IMHO potion means the concoction or healing beverage, and I think there were simply two Oede plants in the box.] [so: Actually, the most frequently used term is "Oede herb". Altered "the Potion" to "the Oede herb".] | |
| (er) | 4: | Jailer -> Gaoler | |
| (er) | 10, 176: | head first -> head-first | |
| (er) | 14: | urns and -> urns, and | |
| (er) | 14: | Weapons and -> Weapons, and | |
| (er) | 18, 155, 229, 343: | Dahir mountains -> Dahir Mountains | |
| (er) | 27: | Each of the three bottles bear a label -> Each of the three bottles bears a label | |
| (er) | 31: | these Items -> these items | |
| (er) | 32: | wrapped in prayer -> rapt in prayer | |
| (er) | 35: | emeralds and -> emeralds, and | |
| (er) | 37: | the slaves quarters -> the slaves' quarters | |
| (er) | 52 [x2]: | Jailer's Keys -> Gaoler's Keys | |
| (er) | 63: | total, for -> total for | |
| (er) | 63: | discover the healing -> discover a healing | |
| (er) | 67: | now extinct -> now extinct anywhere [or, everywhere else] [jb: elsewhere] | |
| (er) | 69: | hospitality? -> hospitality. | |
| (er) | 75: | Quickly Northlander -> Quickly, Northlander [jb: Quickly, Northlander. I | |
| (er) | 80: | 'click' -> click [so: Encode as onomatopoeia] | |
| (er) | 83, 313: | Vakar mountains -> Vakar Mountains | |
| (er) | 86, 128, 133, 377: | turn round -> turn around | |
| (er) | 91: | Jailer -> Gaoler | |
| (er) | 102 [x2]: | Jailer's Keys -> Gaoler's Keys | |
| (er) | 104: | Maouk, 'but -> Maouk. 'But | |
| (er) | 113: | posses -> possess | |
| (er) | 122: | Jailer's Keys -> Gaoler's Keys | |
| (er) | 124: | feet first -> feet-first | |
| (er) | 146: | less than 2 -> 2 or less | |
| (er) | 155: | south-west -> southwest | |
| (er) | 155: | south-east -> southeast | |
| (er) | 155: | To the north, a road stretches across the causeway to the town of Chula, just visible on the horizon. -> To the east, a road stretches across the causeway to the town of Chula, just visible on the horizon. [jc: As your are looking from the south wall, you simply won't be able to look to the north. (Compare with the Map)] | |
| (er) | 173: | north-west -> northwest | |
| (er) | 179: | potions and -> potions, and | |
| (er) | 184: | emporiums -> emporia | |
| (er) | 199: | jailer -> gaoler [ik: just as we replaced all other occurrences of jailer by gaoler in this book] | |
| (er) | 200: | is distracting -> are distracting | |
| (er) | 201: | Drakkar warriors | |
| (er) | 202: | material and -> material, and | |
| (er) | 202: | sold and -> sold, and | |
| (er) | 208: | By the Gods! | |
| (er) | 211: | offers to sell you A bottle for 5 Gold Crowns. If you wish to buy A Bottle -> offers to sell you THE bottle for 5 Gold Crowns. If you wish to buy THE Bottle [OF] [SO: The parenthetical statement indicates you are buying the bottle that has already been opened.] [JB: Agreed] | |
| (er) | 214, 239, 324: | Drakkar Sentry | |
| (er) | 234: | head or feet first -> head- or feet-first | |
| (er) | 235: | A small catch...lie -> A small catch...lies | |
| (er) | 239: | ...reached Kai rank of [rank]... -> ...reached Kai rank of [rank] or higher... | |
| (er) | 240, 370: | falls to zero -> falls to zero or below | |
| (er) | 240 : | points to 0 -> points to zero or below | |
| (er) | 244: | Drakkar rider | |
| (er) | 244: | Drakkar Kraan-rider | |
| (er) | 248, 326: | belt pouch -> Belt Pouch | |
| (er) | 254: | sky-ship and -> sky-ship, and | |
| (er) | 270: | two Items -> two items | |
| (er) | 275: | Magician's Guild -> Magicians' Guild [so: maybe?] | |
| (er) | 285, 345: | At the end of the balcony is another arch and a staircase. -> At the end of the balcony are another arch and a staircase. | |
| (er) | 289: | crack [so: Encode as onomatopoeia (sic)] | |
| (er) | 290: | Drakkar leader | |
| (er) | 291: | Tentarias are a -> Tentarias is a | |
| (er) | 291: | over a thousand miles -> nearly three thousand miles | |
| (er) | 291: | cargo and -> cargo, and | |
| (er) | 291: | a result Banedon -> a result, Banedon | |
| (er) | 300, 323, 380, 380 [Cap]: | Drakkar riders | |
| (er) | 301: | below 4 -> 4 or less | |
| (er) | 313: | couriers and -> couriers, and | |
| (er) | 313: | these Items -> these items | |
| (er) | 314: | cringes the woman, her face creased into an exaggerated smile [so: "cringes"? Really?] [dd: I always read that as her being some Dickens-type fore-lock tugging obsequious urchin... ] [tp: It does seem a little odd, but after casting around for a bit looking for similar actions, I've decided that "winces" is a good analogy to "cringes". Both are similar actions, and I have no problem using "winces" as the "speaking verb", meaning "to say with a wince or in a wincing manner". Thus I'm okay with "cringes".] [John TFS: I'm with David on this one. Certain of the Vassagonians (the late envoy from the beginning of the book) have a marked tendency toward cringing or fawning behavior. I'm okay with "cringes."] [cn: looks like a valid use of the word "cringes" to me: <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cringes> –verb (used without object) 2. to fawn.] [tp: Neither does "sneer"! A sneer is a /facial expression/, conveying disdain or contempt. Of course, "to sneer" meaning "to say with a sneer or in a disdainful manner" is more common than using "to cringe" the same way; but "to cringe" is not invalidated simply because it doesn't literally mean a mode of speech.] [so: ...says the woman cringingly...] [jb: That sounds good to me.] | |
| (er) | 315: | collar bone -> collarbone | |
| (er) | 320: | Koneshi mountains -> Koneshi Mountains | |
| (er) | 331: | What Banedon had assumed to be positions of stars are a code -> What Banedon had assumed to be positions of stars is a code | |
| (er) | 331: | pours over his charts -> pores over his charts [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (er) | 331: | readings and -> readings, and | |
| (er) | 343: | at the front of this book [remove] | |
| (er) | 343: | Dahir pass -> Dahir Pass | |
| (er) | 343: | Drakkar warrior | |
| (er) | 370: | points to zero -> points to zero or below | |
| (er) | 376: | white-washed -> whitewashed | |
| (er) | 392: | Savant add -> Savant, add | |
| (er) | 394: | a mass . . . tumble -> a mass . . . tumbles | |
| (er) | 395: | Torches crackle and splutter -> Torches crackle and sputter [ik/bk] | |
| (er) | 396: | spirals stairs -> spiral stairs [LeRoy McSwain, Jan 2007] | |
| (er) | 397: | Continuity problems with knowing the name Soushilla if you did not cure the vaxeler (Section 356) [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] [SO: If you wish to ask her if she is Soushilla, -> If you wish to ask her if she is Soushilla, if you have heard that name before] | |
| (er) | 399: | Alas I -> Alas, I | |
| (er) | 400: | peaceful as if -> peaceful, as if | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | This is when ENDURANCE points of either character fall to 0. -> This is when ENDURANCE points of either character falls to 0 or below. | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | Pick number from Random-> Pick a number from the Random [affects other books] | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | Turn to Combat -> Turn to the Combat [affects other books] | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | to random number -> to the random number [affects other books] | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | when ENDURANCE -> when the ENDURANCE [affects other books] | |
| (er) | Combat Rules Summary: | ignored, -> ignored; [affects all other books] | |
| Fixed (Not Errata) | |||
| (ne) | Equipment: | potion.gif seems to be missing | |
| (ne) | Equipment: | may carry is two [so: "two" should be <em> This affects all the other books] | |
| (ne) | Rules for Combat: | Of -> of | |
| (ne) | 1: | site -> sight [NM] | |
| (ne) | 8: | cost you to 2 ENDURANCE -> cost you 2 ENDURANCE [NM] | |
| (ne) | 16: | 51 -> 51. | |
| (ne) | 23: | posses -> possess | |
| (ne) | 33: | up to -> up the [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] | |
| (ne) | 35: | Broken footnote marker. Too much linked text, also breaks subsequent footnote numbers (e.g. 69, 154). | |
| (ne) | 50: | Turn to to 176. -> Turn to 176. | |
| (ne) | 55: | about the enter -> about to enter | |
| (ne) | 56, 154: | Remove inappropriate small illustrations | |
| (ft) | 58: | [Krafen [18-04-2010]: On page 58 of Shadow on the Sand (the Bronze Door), it says to turn to the correct section if you know the combination. It is not at all clear how to go directly to a specific section when viewing the book online. The footnote should probably explain how.] [so: We used to do this, but we altered the footnotes' wording to simplify it.] [so: Fixed!] | |
| (ft) | 58: | If you choose the wrong section, then turn to Section 156 as indicated above. You do not get a second guess. -> If you choose the wrong section, then turn to Section 98. You do not get a second guess. [jc: If you choose the wrong section, you trigger an alarm (as stated in section 156), so you cannot have a second guess and should go directly to section 98.] [jb: Agreed.] | |
| (ne) | 63: | swallow of Potion -> swallow a Potion | |
| (ne) | 67: | lock from Section 58 -> lock from Section 58. | |
| (ne) | 67: | click [onomatopoeia?] [jb: this is borderline - it seems that click shouldn't be italicized.] | |
| (ne) | 69: | click [onomatopoeia?] | |
| (ne) | 69: | I'm -> I've | |
| (ne) | 69: | slides opened -> slides open | |
| (ne) | 75: | refuse in climb -> refuse and climb | |
| (ne) | 75: | refuse in -> refuse and [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] | |
| (ne) | 81: | Baga-Darooz -> Baga-darooz | |
| (ne) | 96: | The sudden splash -> A sudden splash | |
| (ne) | 102: | attached your belt -> attached to your belt [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 118: | To guard raises... -> The guard raises... | |
| (ne) | 128: | center -> centre | |
| (ne) | 133: | to walkway -> the walkway [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] | |
| (ne) | 136: | want a -> want to [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] | |
| (ne) | 140: | the end of along aisle -> the end of a long aisle [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 149: | turn to 100 -> turn to 100. | |
| (ne) | 151: | stare in each other -> stare at each other | |
| (ne) | 178: | If you in -> If you win [AY] | |
| (ne) | 180: | this kill -> this skill | |
| (ne) | 195: | center -> centre | |
| (ne) | 207: | [Dewi Morgan, August 2008: Is the Brass Whistle really a Backpack Item?] [SO: Footnote added: "The Brass Whistle is a Special Item worn on a chain around the neck."] | |
| (ne) | 211: | adjustments your -> adjustments to your [OF] | |
| (ne) | 214: | Turn to 395 -> Turn to 395. | |
| (ne) | 221: | However as the -> However, as the | |
| (ne) | 246: | turned to -> turn to [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] [OF] | |
| (ne) | 247: | '"The -> '<ch.thinspace/>"The | |
| (ne) | 254: | Web -> web | |
| (ne) | 285: | appears as it from nowhere -> appears as if from nowhere [Scott Ferguson; also, Ryan Marshall August 2006] | |
| (ne) | 286: | turn to 239 -> turn to 239. | |
| (ne) | 288: | To Drakkar curses you -> The Drakkar curses you [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 294: | hastily staunch that bleeding -> hastily staunch the bleeding [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 302: | the the velvet satchel -> the velvet satchel [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 321: | is a suspicious -> is suspicious [OF] | |
| (ne) | 305: | the ropes snaps -> the rope snaps [LeRoy McSwain, Jan 2007] | |
| (ne) | 331: | [so: Can we improve this puzzle for partially-sighted readers? ALT text on the Map?] [jb: I'm not sure what how we could describe it without just giving the answer. Any ideas?] | |
| (ne) | 333: | Zlanbeast, creature -> Zlanbeast, a creature [OF] | |
| (ne) | 343: | center -> centre | |
| (ne) | 368: | The air is alive with the sound of pounding feet, for the Grand Palace is now on full alert. Both the Drakkarim and a palace guard are bent on finding you; their lives will be forfeit if they fail. [This is debatable but shouldn't that be "and the palace guard are bent on finding you"?] [so: Yep, this is a typo (cf. Section 252.] | |
| (ne) | 389: | onto landing platform -> onto the landing platform [OF] | |
| (ne) | 389: | turn to 224 -> turn to 224. | |
| (ne) | 395: | at large stone door -> at a large stone door [Scott Ferguson] | |
| (ne) | 395: | beneath it and -> beneath it, and | |
| (ne) | 400: | destiny lies long -> destiny lies along | |
| (ne) | Map: | [Is the explanatory text of the map in place?] | |
| (ne) | Action Chart: | Missing in Action! | |
| (ne) | Footnotes (Section 56): | Although it may not use it currently -> Although you may not use it in this adventure | |
| (ne) | errata: | (90) Replaced 'water keeping' with 'water, keeping'. [so: Merge with other Errata for Section 90.] | |
| (ne) | errata: | (132) Replaced 'distance and' with 'distance, and'. [so: Merge with other Errata for Section 132.] | |
| (ne) | errata: | (137) Replaced 'grass, and' with 'grass and'. [so: Merge with the other Errata for Section 137.] | |
| (ne) | errata: | Replaced all occurences of 'market-place' with 'marketplace' -> Replaced all occurrences of 'market-place' with 'marketplace' | |
| (ne) | errata: | Replaced all occurences of 'discipline(s)' with 'Discipline(s)'. -> Replaced all occurrences of 'discipline(s)' with 'Discipline(s)'. | |
| Rejected | |||
| (ft) | Equipment: | How to Use/Food [You will not be able to use Hunting in lieu of eating a Meal in this adventure.] [jb: this is already expressed in that section.] | |
| (ft) | 58, 331: | Include a link to the Numbered Sections in the puzzle footnote. [Dewi Morgan, August 2008] [SO: Such links were removed because this text doesn't make any sense in other formats (e.g. PDF or single-page editions)] | |
| (er) | 69: | gold I'd -> gold, I'd [jb: funny syntax, but valid without separating subject-verb from object with a comma] | |
| (ft) | 169: | The Sash does not count towards your limit of 12 Special Items. [so: It is worn rather than carried.] [jb: That technicality hasn't been made in the rules yet so this would only serve to confuse first time readers. As far as they know, they don't have a limit on Special Items.] | |
| (ft) | 223: | [sf: remind reader that Crypt Spawn are undead and take 2x damage from the Sommerswerd] [so: Are Crypt Spawn undead?] [jb: I did a crude search looking for "undead" or "Sommerswerd" in the vicinity of "Crypt Spawn" in all of our encoded books. I couldn't find any passages that allude to the idea that Crypt Spawn are undead.] [so: Officially retired unless/until definitive proof of the undead nature of Crypt Spawn can be ascertained.] | |
| (er) | 258, 315, 349: | sun-sword -> Sun-sword | |
| (er) | 320: | the Tomb. -> the tomb. | |
| (ft) | 331: | [so: Should we improve the footnote to link to the list of Section Numbers?] | |
| (er) | 350: | shock wave -> shockwave | |
| (er) | 395: | The stone surround -> The stone surrounding [Scott Ferguson] [so: I think the original is OK here] [jb: "surround" is a noun in this context | |
| (er) | 400: | the Koneshi, -> the Koneshi Mountains, | |